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'AITA for ruining my brother's marriage because his wife left me at the pool?' UPDATED

'AITA for ruining my brother's marriage because his wife left me at the pool?' UPDATED


"AITA for ruining my brother's marriage because his wife left me at the pool?"

Here's the original post:

this whole situation is so bizarre that I still can't really process it. it still doesn’t feel real but I feel scared and guilty

I (19F) had surgery a couple days ago to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth out and because I have a really bad fear of dentists, they had to drug me pretty hard to do the removal. Not like laughing gas that wears off really fast, but actual IV medicine so I was pretty much unconscious during the whole thing.

They told me to have a "responsible adult" drive me to the appointment and back because the meds they gave me would make it dangerous to drive. My mom was on a work trip and couldn’t take me, so I asked my sister in law Bri (24, not her real name) if she could do it as the whole thing would only take an hour or two.

I even offered gas money because the dental office is about 45 minutes away. I would have asked my brother but he works during the day while bri is a stay at home mom to their 2yo daughter who I think was at bri's mom's house that day.

Bri agreed to take me to my appointment and the surgery went fine, bri waited in the lobby for me to be done. When I came out of anesthesia I was very disoriented and nauseous, which I guess is normal. I had gauze shoved in my mouth to stop any bleeding and bri took me to her car after I was let go.

I don’t really remember much of the drive but it felt like not enough time passed before bri got out of the car and told me to come with her. I was really out of it and just followed her because the alternative was staying in the hot car.

long story short, we were at a pool?? I was really confused but once we were through the gate bri basically parked me at one of those little table-benches said she'd be back in a while. I was still trying not to puke and was really dizzy from the heat (90+ degrees) and the drugs, so I asked her to take me home but she wouldn't.

I guess since it was her day off and she didn’t have my niece she was meeting friends at the pool. I was starting to feel really sick and on the verge of passing out or having a panic attack, so I called my brother.

I don’t think he could understand me between the meds and the stuff in my mouth because he hung up and I guess called bri because she came stomping back over, cussing and yelling at me, and took me back to the car. I passed out on the drive home, but when we arrived my brother had left work and met us in the driveway.

He was screaming at bri and she was crying. I was still pretty disoriented but my brother took me back home and stayed with me until the meds wore off. That's when he told me he's divorcing bri because of what she did plus some other things he didn’t go into detail about.

It's been a few days since then and bri has been blowing up my phone telling me what a bitch I am and how me tattling destroyed her family. Part of me feels bad because of my niece and I wonder if I should've jjst dealt with it and waited for her to be done at the pool instead of calling my bro and causing problems. AITA??

Do you think she did anything wrong? Or is Bri entirely at fault here? Here's what top commenters had to say:

JeepersCreepers74 said:

"he's divorcing bri because of what she did plus some other things" OP, you are not the reason they're getting a divorce. But if you find out the reason, please come back and update because enquiring minds want to know! NTA.

kittenoftheeast said:

NTA. Not remotely. And you did not ruin their marriage. The other things your brother didn't detail? Sounds like Bri's treatment of you was a last straw.

CrossFace13 said:

Oh honey, NTA at all. Whilst I understand how you think you should’ve just suck it up and kept quiet, you were also post op and under the effects of heavy drugs. What she did was very irresponsible and childish. I also don’t think that’s the sole reason why your brother is thinking of divorce, it sounds like the final nail in the coffin tho. Their marital problems are not yours and are in no shape or form your fault.

GoingPriceForHome said:

NTA. You did not ruin your brother's marriage. SHE did. This sounds like the latest stunt she's pulled in a long line of thoughtless and harmful behaviors.

RighteousVengeance said:

NTA. And Bri is the one that ruined her marriage. She could be brought up on criminal charges for what she did. She was entrusted to bring you home (or, failing this, someplace safe). Abandoning you at a pool (which apparently was at a location unfamiliar to you) was irresponsible and dangerous, considering your state.

And by the way, props to your brother for going above and beyond to protect you while his wife was being entitled, selfish and careless.

The woman later shared this update on the situation:

I called my bro to check on things, thank him again and see how he and my niece were doing and he told me some things about bri and why hes divorcing her.

i don't think she's cheated on him or anything like a lot of people in the original post thought, at least my bro never said anything about that, but yall were right about the incident with me being the straw that broke the camels back and that I'm not the only victim of bri being careless.

a while back I guess my bro came home early from work and found my niece (2yo) alone in their house with the front door unlocked. he called bri 3 or 4 times with no answer and she came in the front door right before he was about to call the cops. Apparently she went to the convenience store like a 5 minute drive from their place and left my niece by herself.

When my brother yelled at her she said it was fine because nothing bad happened, and when he said the door was unlocked she just said she mustve forgot and that it wasn't a big deal. Her phone was silenced on the charger in their bedroom which is why she didn't answer when he called.

Bri called him dramatic and told him to stop telling her how to parent and that niece was fine for 20 minutes while she shopped for dinner stuff.

My bro is taking some time off work to take careof my niece because he kicked bri out of their house the same day I had my surgery. she is staying at a hotel that bro is paying for and he gave her two weeks (more like one and a half now) to find a place before he quits paying for it.

He says he's going for full custody because bri is a danger to my niece and doesn’t trust her anymore. she tried to argue when he kicked her out but he threatened to call the police for what she did to me which I guess scared her because she left.

Sorry it isn’t a very exciting update but that's all bro would tell me, I think this isn’t the first time bri neglected niece too but he said he's doing what it takes to make sure it doesn’t happen again. He also said he doesn’t think that bri is completely malicious but is extremely careless and doesn’t believe her actions affect other people which is why she cant be trusted not to hurt others by being selfish.

I'm doing well after my surgery even after everything that happened so thank you all for the good wishes and advice! I've gotten a lot of messages and sweet words and it's a little too overwhelming to respond to all of them but it still makes me feel a lot better about everything. so thank you again.

Bye bye Bri!

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