Here's the story:
My (28M) family and I are currently going at it over my sisters (30F) wedding. This situation has festered so badly that I am not planning on going to the wedding or home for the Hollidays this year and will go to my GFs family instead.
This thing started 4 years ago. My sister got married, I was a groomsman and very involved in the process. I was never that close with my ex BIL but he was a decent enough guy. So in July of 2022 my sister and her ex husband divorced. This was due to her having an affair with her current fiancé.
My parents do what they always do with my sister and excuse whatever bullsh*t she pulls. I live far from home so I typically only take one trip home a year. Well last Christmas I was home and she brings this guy over to my parents. They called themselves fiancé which again was like 4 months after my sister got divorced.
I wasn’t having it and didn’t talk to the guy and went on a walk for most of the night. Before he left the guy wanted to speak to me and asked if I’d consider being a groomsman. I pretty much told him no. That I didn’t know him, wasn’t gonna spend the money and more than likely wouldn’t be going to the wedding.
My sister found out and blew up at me and I unloaded in front of our parents. I pretty much asked my parents if they planned on paying for a second wedding in 3 years. They told me it wasn’t my business. We went at it about the whole situation and I left back for NY earlier than I intended. I’ve declined my sisters invite to the wedding.
Her fiancé texted me saying how the family is gonna be upset if I’m not there. I didn’t respond until he called and I told him basically to get lost. I didn’t plan to drop a grand on some tacky wedding between cheaters.
My parents told me they were gonna do this Christmas with the new in-laws to get to know them better. I laughed my ass off at this after they told me I was invited if I wanted to come. But if I couldn’t go it’s okay because I would be coming home for the wedding in February. I guess nobody had told them yet but they blew a gasket. My mom especially.
Saying that she had plans for family pics and our family would ask questions. I told her that if they wanted to pay for my plane ticket, hotel, alcohol and extra expenses then I’d go. If not then I’m not going. My dad said they would not pay for me to come. I said “so you’ll pay for a second wedding but not a plane ticket?” He got pissed and hung up.
My mom has been texting me the last week trying to convince me. I said she can answer all the questions and take her pictures with her family. We have not really spoken in months besides my moms text and I just wanna know if I was the AH here?
NTA - Your sister is marrying the man she cheated on her husband with; I think we all can see where this one's going. I agree with you that it's not worth your time and money to go to this wedding. If your parents demand that you do it as a favor to them, it should be at their expense.
NTA, I'm sure you love your sister, but she is an adult now, and whatever choice she make, should be on hers. I think you need to just close this door and take care of your family instead. Otherwise, maybe just send a card to her.
NTA. I wonder what they’ll say when she’s onto her third marriage.
But if you went, think of the toasts you could make at the reception. For example: "....And I hope you don't cheat on your new husband like you did the last one and may your affair partners d$@k fall off" etc. NTA
NTA -Based on your sister’s past history her new marriage will not last 2 years. Stay home-enjoy the peace and quiet without family drama. Your parents definitely have a favorite child-sorry OP!
NTA. The Christmas thing alone would piss me off enough to not want to be involved at any level throughout. The good news for you is that this marriage more than likely won’t be successful either so eventually it should all work itself out.
I guess your parents are trying to make the best of a bad situation, but it's not your problem. NTA.