"My (30F) husband's brother (40M) & his wife (36F) told me my husband is actually gay & our marriage is his front?"

A month ago my sister in law came to my house with her daughter. I also have a 6 month old baby. Anyways, everything was going pretty normal. We talked, made dinner and vented to each other about normal marriage/life stuff. Then things took a turn.

My husband and I moved into our house 6 month prior to this visit with my sister in law. So literally one week after I gave birth we moved into this house. My husband works, A LOT, so majority of caring for our baby is on me and that's okay but for the first 3 maybe 4 months I was really in the trenches.

So anyway she starts to tell me that her and my husband's brother are very upset with us because we haven't invited them over for dinner yet. HUH?! So at this point I'm just letting her vent on why she's upset with us. Even though they live 20 some minutes away and have never asked to come see their new nephew or she just doesn't talk to me at all?! Lol

This visit was rare by the way. It was really out of the blue. Anyways she's going on that she's pissed because I haven't cooked dinner for her family yet. Okay. Sorry. I've been extremely overwhelmed with my baby (first time mom) and his medical issues and bills and just day to day life, I honestly haven't even thought of it. I also struggled with PPD pretty badly and I was on medication for it.

It was literally the last thing on my mind. So I apologized. Then she starts to tell me that a week prior at her BBQ, that my husband and I were at, that her and her husband (my husband's brother) thought my husband looked depressed. I was honestly confused because I've never noticed that and my husband and I talk, like really talk about everything, and I was just surprised she said that.

I asked her why do they think he seems depressed? And she says "before I tell you, you have to promise me you won't tell your husband" so now I am TERRIFIED, anxious, curious... all of the above. And I told her I promised I wouldn't say anything.

Then in front of her daughter, who is almost 10 years old, starts to tell me that she and my brother in law think that my husband is depressed because he is actually GAY and can't live his truth! Then word for word she told me "we honestly think he married you and had a baby with you as a front" HOLY SH*T, WHAT?????????

So now I'm actually feeling weird. She went into detail that she thinks my husband and his best friend for over 10 years (who is married with children) are having or WERE having a secret relationship. WHAT?!! My SIL has known my husband for over 15 years. How could she say this to me after everything I've been through? Even if it was true, why? You know what I mean?

So she left my house and I honestly was over thinking it for days before I finally told my husband. He is extremely upset. My brother in law is the type of man that if I would have said that to his wife about HIM he would have came for my throat. Me and my husband decided not to say anything yet but it's getting hard. It has been about a month.

After she left my house that night she has not said a word to me since. Like how do you lay that on someone and go mute. We're family? I've been married to my husband almost 3 years now and I absolutely believe him but that's besides the point. I need to know what is the correct way to confront them? I'm sorry but you cannot come into my house and tell me my entire life is fake.

Also, I want to add a week ago it was their (my SIL & BIL's) other child's birthday. The party was outside and 94 degrees out. I didn't feel comfortable having my baby outside in that heat. When we told them that and that we weren't coming to the party because of that they told us they didn't give a f**k if we came and hung the phone up and haven't said a word since.

My husband is pissed and hurt and so am I and I am so tired of letting things slide with his family. How do my husband and I navigate this issue? Thanks.

What do you think she should do? This is what top commenters had to say:

InsertCleverName652 said:

How do you handle it? Either you both say nothing and have minimal contact with the SIL, or your husband has to talk to his brother. You need to stay out of it. In any case, I would avoid all contact with the SIL, as minimal as possible.

As of now, you cannot be sure your BIL even knows she was there, nevermind what she said, so as of right now she is the problem. It's up to your husband if he feels comfortable broaching that issue with his brother.

Posterbomber said:

Don't do anything. Just go no contact with sil and watch your husband more closely over the next year. Soon it'll be clear if she's just a vindictive shit stirrer mad at you for not showing up to the party or if your husband is on the down low. Or both.

OP responded:

I'm 10000000% sure he isn't even bisexual. I was with him for awhile before we got married and I have 0 doubts about it. And honestly if he did have some gay things going on before he knew me, who cares. It's the past and it isn't her place either way imo. I feel like I'm always the bigger person with my husband's family and I'm just so tired of it, but, thank you for advice!

And FrannyKay1082 said:

I say play the game. Teach them a lesson. Tell his best friend. Have a ball with it. I wish I'd be at your next family gathering. I'm sure you guys can all get creative.

Update #1, a day later:

my husband will be saying something to his brother soon. I will update everyone. I am cutting off my sil completely. I will update everyone who wants to know when it happens and what exactly does happen. Thank you for all the advice.

Update #2:

My husband asked his brother about it and he said he had no idea what was said. He asked his wife in front of both of us and she said she never said it and I'm a liar and that's where it stands as of now. 🙃

Update #3, a week later:

So my husband confronted his brother. His brother said he knew nothing about what his wife said. He then asked his wife in front of my and my husband and she denied ever saying it. She called me a liar. Then my husband's brother told me he's "been with his wife for 20 years and she would never lie to him" 🤯🤯🤯🤯 and that maybe I stretched a little bit of what she said to me LOL

I definitely did not. Not even a little bit. So that's where it stands as of now. My husband believes me. That's all that matters. If I wanted to "stir the pot" I could have thought of something better than this.