'My family set me up with my GF and now she's claiming to be pregnant. I am sterile.' UPDATED 2X

"My (26M) GF (24F) told me she is pregnant but I am sterile."

I am from a SEA country and my first language is not English. Backstory: I got into an accident after my college and will never be able to have kids. None of my family members know of this. They know about the accident but not about this. I have always wanted to be childfree so it did not affect me much mentally.

I have finished my Masters Degree last year and never dated before. I got a very high paying job directly through campus placements. My parents immediately wanted me to get married after getting a job but I wanted to work on myself and explore a bit.

They said no and I said that it was my wish. All my life I did what they wanted and for the first time when I talked against them, they were not happy. So I picked up some dating apps and went through them but no luck. Then my parents introduced me to a family friends daughter and we clicked kinda. Looking back, I was a fool.

She said yes to anything I said and never complained about anything. I felt kinda weird about it. I wanted her to express her interests but she always said she was interested in whatever I do. Well, i did not think much about it.

I said that i wont have kids ever and she surprisingly said ok. I was like damn, she is probably the one as it is very hard to find a partner who is childfree in my country (or atleast i thought), but we were in the initial stages and I have not told about my accident.

Long story short, we slept together a month ago, we used protection. The next day on, she started ghosting me a bit. I thought it was due to my performance in bed and wanted to give her some space. Then she texted infrequently and only replied OKs and Ks and one line answers. I thought maybe she wanted to end the relationship and was sad but left it at that.

Yesterday, all her family came to my house and she claims shes pregnant and the father is me. Needless to say, I freaked out and wanted to collapse on the ground. I did not say anything while they were talking about marriage and stuff that needs to happen because I got her pregnant. Please advise me on what steps to take now.

What do you think he should do? This is what top commenters had to say:

BisquickNinja said:

Get tested to see if you are sterile. IF she is pregnant get the baby tested. Make plans accordingly if you are the father or not. On a final note... you may need to step away from your family for your own health.

WinVok04 said:

You DO NOT have to marry this person. •You DO NOT have to keep your parents happy (they sound super selfish and manipulative) •You DO NOT have to do anything don’t want to. Get tested and confirm that you, in fact, can’t have kids. DO NOT sign the birth certificate. Get advice from an attorney as soon as you can and stay safe!

KindAddition said:

Go to a doctor, get tested for sterility, and give the results to her and your family.

AnotherDisnerd said:

You could get tested to confirm you are truly sterile. You may want to try speaking with her privately to let her know you are physically incapable of being the father. You may have to reveal your sterility to both of your families.

[deleted] said:

Take a paternity test. Done.

A day after his original post, OP shared this first update:

Let me start off by saying im very very grateful for everyone who took their time to read and give me advice. I was overwhelmed by the amount of comments and how many of you said it might not even be my kid. Looking at it from a different perspective gave me much more insight on the whole situation. I called my boss and took today off.

I called up some clinics to get tested and was given a slot on Friday afternoon. Then I went to the store and bought some pregnancy tests and asked only her to come to my place tomorrow ( i.e today morning).

I also called my parents and my before I said anything, my mom asked me if I had any good news, I was shocked by what she said and asked me what exactly she was talking about. She then played dumb and I knew that the situation was more messed up than I thought. I cut the call and cried all night till 3am, grown ass man crying for the first time since 8th class.

She came today morning with her parents even after I told her to come alone. They were under the impression that I was gonna discuss engagement plans with them. I told them to wait outside and called her in and they threw a fit. I told they can all go back or let her alone come in, they said ok.

I took out the pregnancy tests and gave it to her and told her to prove that she was actually pregnant and told her where the bathroom was. She started screaming at me(never done this before, I was shocked at this), then she went out the door and called her parents in. Now everyone is screaming at me in my own home because I asked her to prove the pregnancy not even a DNA test.

I told them all to screw off and one hour later my parents and they all came to my home and they spilled the beans. She was never actually pregnant(as many redditors said), my parents were afraid that I was getting old for marriage and wanted me to marry and give them grandchildren.

They said that in arrange marriages, no need for the people to actually get to know the spouse because parents choose only the best for their kids. They planned this all and were only waiting for me to have sex with her to do this. I broke down and cried again. All my life, I did exactly what my parents wanted, always scored high and never asked for anything.

I told them to get out and never talk to me again in between crying and they said parents know whats best for their kids and I should do what they say. Then I got extremely angry and told them to screw themselves in my native language which was very bad.

For once, I think they knew I was serious with them and they all left. I blocked them all before sending my parents a message to never again contact me in my life even if one of you is dying.

Cried for some more time, went through some dog videos and went through all my messages on reddit and I feel like I owe you guys this update because it was you guys who helped me do this. That is all and I hope you have a wonderful day.

Ten days later, he shared this final update:

I wanna thank you all for taking your time and reaching out and giving advice. The last few days, I feel like a burden was lifted off me, especially from my parents who always expect many things from me. The first day after the confrontation was a shit show. My parents forced relatives to reach out to me asking me to see reason (lmao), I declined.

They stopped after 2 days after a harsh message from me requesting no contact. I also took appointments for family planning (vasectomy) which is next month. Some people asked if I would ever tell my family about this, but I will not. My body, my business. I will of course tell potential future dates that I am childfree and also had a vasectomy beforehand. Some people asked where I am from. I am from India.