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'AITA for telling my SIL and BIL they're asking too much of their wedding guests?' UPDATED

'AITA for telling my SIL and BIL they're asking too much of their wedding guests?' UPDATED


"AITA for telling my soon to be sister-in-law that they're asking too much of their wedding guests?"

Here's the original post:

So a quick little backstory. My husband (21M) and his brother (25M) have always had a great relationship. His brother moved away when he was younger and even though they're now 2 hours apart, they still regularly talk and play games online together. My husband is one of six kids and they all are still in contact and on good terms. His parents are also still married.

About three years ago his brother introduced us to his girlfriend at the time. She was originally from a different state but moved here to be with him. Everything was fine until about a year into knowing her when she started getting snotty and entitled. For one thing, she refused to work and expected him to support her and her mother whom she had brought with her when moving here.

She began going through people's things, making snide comments, and she even told me that I was privileged and said she would use our daughters name for her daughter, while I was in labor. (she also wore sweatpants to our wedding and fell asleep at the reception)

For their wedding we were told we need to purchase medieval costumes, drive the two hours to their town, bring food for the reception, play outside games, and just recently she added that we would need to take pictures on our phones for them since they can't afford a photographer.

I mentioned to her that this all seemed like a lot to ask (especially considering they had refused to come for any family events prior to this) and she told me if I didn't like it then I didn't have to come. I should add that my husband is in this wedding.

She stopped responding to me after I said their attitude was hurtful and started telling my MIL that I was hurting her "again" and making up stories about us kicking them out of our house.

This has began to affect my husband's relationship with his brother now and I feel bad but at the same time, all of my in-laws are happy I said something to her and appalled at how snotty her and my BIL have been lately. AITA for saying something?

Edit: I feel like I should add that my current SIL (15F) has a birthday the day before their wedding. She specifically asked for it not to be on her birthday weekend before they had a date picked because she wanted all the family here for her birthday. Now they are saying we need to come up there the day before (on her birthday) to help prepare their food even though they know it's her birthday.

Do you think she's bein an AH? Here's what top commenters had to say:

whopeedonthefloor said:

NTA. Here’s what you do (if you’re petty like me): First, RENT the most beautiful, elaborate, cream colored medieval dress so that you look better than her by far. If you don’t have a costume rental place, learn to sew today and make it real grand. Next, make 1 dozen deviled eggs.

Nothing more. Last, hire two minions who will follow you around, carrying your very long dress train and have them respond to everything you say with “Yess my Queen”. Then take pictures of her face and inbox me bc I need a follow up. *Edited for my piss poor autocorrect errors.

NUT-me-SHELL said:

NTA. You should go to the wedding - if only for the chance to joust with the asshole bride on her special day.

penguin_squeak said:

NTA. You can't pick your in laws. Your future sister in law is an unpleasant person who wants a medieval potluck wedding with corn hole and croquet. Find a cheap cape on line, make some potato salad and make the best of it. It's one day, it's not worth causing a rift between your husband and his brother.

Help24-7 said:

NTA. Okay when is the wedding?? We need an update on this!!! Proof of jousting would be appreciated 😂 Also..I would just walk around with a giant turkey leg...can you imagine what the pictures would be like?!? Lol

About a month later, the woman shared this update about the wedding—and it was somehow even more chaotic than you can imagine:

The wedding was today. We arrived at the ceremony about 15 minutes before it was supposed to start, as we had been told there was no rehearsal and to just be there when the other guests would get there. We arrived and my husband was greeted by his brother with "Where have you been? We've been going over everything and you weren't here!"

Again, we had been told there was no rehearsal but apparently his brother had decided the night before that they would be going over everything an hour before the ceremony and we were not informed. Anyway, my husband goes back to be with the wedding party and we sit down.

They did end up getting a photographer but she was very pushy and kept snapping in people's faces to get their attention. The ceremony was fine. Typical wedding ceremony, aside from the Renaissance outfits. But then we went to the reception.

The reception was outdoors in a barn. It had been raining all day so there were a lot of bugs. When we got there, no decorations had been set out and there was only one table for people to eat at. This was a group of 40-45. Two hours after we got there, they started bringing the food in.

Apparently they had assigned one of the brides older relatives to make all the food and somewhere along the hustling and bustling of making food for all those people, the poor man had a heart attack. He was rushed to the hospital and he is okay but they had absolutely no backup plan. They ended up cooking all the food themselves when they got to the reception.

They cut the cake without announcing it so the photographer had to hastily run over there to get pictures and after the cake cutting, the bride's entire family disappeared and we did not see them for the remainder of the time we were there. Her mother did come into the barn every half an hour or so to smoke a cigarette but that was it.

There was no dancing, no bouquet toss (because they carried lanterns instead), and the guests that were left kind of just stood around. Needless to say, it was chaos at its finest. Thank you to everyone who commented on the original post! I'm sure we will many similar family gatherings in the future!

Edit: So it turns out the man who had the heart attack is the boyfriend of the brides mother and he faked the entire thing. Apparently he's known for that. And the mother of the bride lied about taking him to the hospital so he wouldn't have to make the food.

Edit: As if it wasn't bad enough, we found out that the mother of the bride didn't take any pictures at the wedding....AT ALL... And she just waited until BIL's parents put their pictures on Facebook so she could post them as her own.... She also blew up at BIL at the reception because no one was talking to her even though she kept leaving to go smoke in her cabin....They're a very odd family...

"A very odd family" indeed...

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