Woman refuses to use inheritance to pay for half-sister's lifesaving medical treatment. 'AITA?'
"AITA for refusing to use the money I inherited from my mother to pay for medical treatment for my half-sister, who has a life threatening sickness? She is the child of my father and the woman he cheated on my mother with."
Here's the story:
When I was 25, we found out that my father had been cheating on my mother for years and he had a 7 year old daughter with his mistress. In one split second, the happy family I knew was gone, and I went through the darkest time in my life.
My parents divorced and per their prenup, my mother walked away with most of their assets (since she also contributed more to the family income). She never forgave my dad for what he did and never talked to him again, though she grudgingly allowed me to have whatever relationship I wanted to have with him.
I eventually forgave my dad mostly because I was tired of carrying so much anger and hurt in my heart. I talk to him but I want nothing to do with his mistress or my half sister.
My mother died last year and left me everything - her money, her real estate assets, and her business, which I now own and operate. I am in a relatively comfortable financial position, while my dad is... getting by. He was never a good businessman on his own and lost a lot of his money on businesses that later went belly up.
This year my half sister was diagnosed with a life threatening sickness, and she has been in the hospital for the last four months. The bills are mounting and my dad came to me for help because they are now in a situation where they are finding it difficult to come up with money for my half sister's treatment.
The thing is, I don't want to use my mother's money to pay for the treatment of the child her husband had with his other woman. Though it's not my half sister's fault, it feels so unfair when I think that the money my mother worked hard all her life for will go to a child that neither my mother and I have any responsibility towards, and the very same child of the man and the woman who hurt her so much at that.
I'd really rather use it to grow her company and let my dad and my half sister's mother figure out how to get money for her treatment. They are her parents after all. The only thing tying me to her is my father saying "She is your sister" and "If she dies because she didn't get the treatment she needs, would you be able to sleep at night?" AITA?
Here's what top commenters have to say:
avocado__dip said:
NTA. "If she dies because she didn't get the treatment she needs, would you be able to sleep at night?" It's wrong of your dad to lay this guilt on you. His daughter is his burden. While it's not fair for a little girl to suffer, I don't blame you for not caring about her wellbeing.
[deleted] said:
NAH - Blood relations don’t make somebody family.
It’s unlucky that your half sister has been put in this position but you’re in no way obliged to help her in any way. Don’t feel guilty about being able to do something and refusing to, you look out for yourself and people you feel close to.
aitathrowawayx said:
NAH. I don’t think he’s wrong for asking, but you certainly are not wrong for saying no. I would feel just as conflicted about it. Tbh I think the @$$h@le here is the medical system that puts people in severe debt, just because they’re trying to stay alive.
edit; i can definitely hear the argument for dad being TA for, what appears to be, guilt tripping OP. I didn’t judge him as TA because I honestly cannot imagine what it’s like to have a dangerously ill child, knowing the other child has the money available to help and chooses not to. I think it’s too complex for me, personally, to definitively call him TA.
I hate the medical system for putting these two in this situation in the first place.
jessbelle27 said:
NTA and I'm so sorry you're in this position. It's shameful your father is putting this burden on your shoulders; I imagine he's scared for your half sister's life and desperate to find a life-saving solution. Still very inappropriate and unfair to you, though. What a heavy situation. Have you talked to a therapist?
GeneralWaste_69 said:
NTA. Your dad cheated on your mother and now wants to guilt trip you into caring for a child that he helped create? Your dad, the guy who ruined his marriage and pretty much any good relationship with you? It's sad for the little girl, but you have no obligation to her, and unfortunately that's the reality. She's not someone you know, I assume, or ever had any relationship with.
And HanzoSteel said:
Good lord, does nobody really see the problem with using an innocent girl’s life as a way to get back at your Father’s mistress? Instead of bending over backwards to get out of helping, just do the right thing man. I’m sure they’re not asking for ALL of your money, but just something to help out. You didn’t like how your father and his mistress ruined your family? Break the cycle and be the better man.
You’re the @$$h@le and everyone in this thread saying you’re not is also an @$$h@le. Why do people suck so much?