Man's parents 'forbid' him from proposing to his GF until his sister is married. UPDATED
"My parents wouldn't give me a family ring so I could propose to my girlfriend because my sister isn't married yet"
Here's the original post:
My girlfriend's birthday is on Saturday and I plan on proposing to her. Our anniversary is 6 months from Saturday (April 29) and I think that would be a great day for a wedding. When my grandma died she left all kinds of jewelry to my mom. She always said if I wanted one of her rings to give to a woman in the future she would let me pick.
I know my mom knows she said this. I asked my mom for one of the rings but my mom said "not yet". She and my dad said my sister will be upset if I get engaged while she is still single and not married. It's not a secret that she's desperate to get married. But that's not my problem. My sister turned 29 in March and I turned 31 last month.
My parents said she'll be upset if I get married a month after her 30th birthday. So I went out today and bought a ring. It was never about money because I can afford to buy one. I thought it would be special to give my girlfriend a family ring.
I'm still proposing on Saturday despite my parents forbidding me to. I'm just pissed off that they asked me to hold off until my sister is married when she isn't even in a relationship. Pisses me off but I don't want anything to spoil my girlfriend's birthday.
What do you think? Here's what top commenters had to say:
ImagineSnapDragons said:
For her 30th birthday, your parents can gift her therapy. I turned 30 back in August. Never married. You know what happened? Nothing. The world doesn’t end when you’re still single at a certain age.
BrightAd306 said:
That’s so weird. It’s not like you’re 17. A month after she turns 30?! Does she own every month? Just wait until you start having kids or something before her. I get being sensitive to her feelings, but this is way over the top. I mean, they could let her pick a ring first and set it aside for the future.
It sucks that they’re going to be more worried about her feelings than excited for you. Then they’ll wonder why you always spend holidays at the inlaws
SnooWords4839 said:
Good for you!! Congrats!! Your parents catering to their golden child suck. Don't be surprised if you need to elope to avoid your family!! Better yet, elope and then plan a party after you are married.
Darkspark95 said:
Good for you for not letting your parents control you. Maybe you can still give your soon to be wife one of your grandmothers rings as a special gift for an anniversary or maybe a vow renewal. Also: don’t forget to update us! I hope she says yes!
A few days after his original post, he shared this update on the situation:
I proposed on Saturday like I originally planned to. I proposed with the ring I bought after my parents denied me one of my grandmother's rings. (As I said in my original post it wasn't about money. I could afford to buy a ring. It was about being sentimental because my grandmother always told me I could have one of her rings).
I didn't do anything elaborate or public. I proposed over breakfast and she said yes. She called it the best birthday gift she's ever gotten. She had the same idea as me and had suggested we get married on April 29, our third anniversary, before I even brought it up.
So that's what we are doing. We both agreed we don't anything huge or expensive so we're going to keep it small. It's 1:15pm now, about 28 hours since I proposed. When we announced the news my sister was upset just like I knew she would be and my parents were mad I didn't listen to them. I'm 31 and don't rely on my parents for money.
I told my parents and sister if they are unhappy they can skip the wedding. It would suck if I didn't have any family there but I also don't want them to spoil this. I wasn't going tell my fiancée what went down but I did once my sister started melting down so she wouldn't be blindsided by any of it.
She assured me she loves the ring and thinks my family is wrong. Her family had the exact opposite reaction as mine and they are all happy for us.
So that's it. All is well. My fiancée is currently at work and it may sound stupid but I miss her. She told me her coworkers are happy for her and I know mine will be too when I go in later today. EDIT: I also appreciate all the supportive comments in my last post so thanks for those.