'AITA for asking for the full inheritance instead of splitting it with my wealthy sister?' UPDATED
"AITA for asking for the full inheritance instead of splitting it with my sister?"
I'm 28f. She's 32f. Don't know if that matters. Recently our father passed away. He didn't really leave any money but he has a partially paid for condo which I desperately wanted to live in. it's nothing fancy. Just a small 650 square foot 2 bedroom place. It's cozy. I've been struggling with homelessness since my husband and I split.
Rents have drastically increased, I'm talking over doubled since I was on my own last. I can't afford anything. The cheapest 1 bedrooms are 1800 a month. Bachelor's around 1500. After taxes I make just under 2000. I want to assume my dad's mortgage which is right around $600 every month. I asked my sister, pled my case and she didn't take it so well.
She's not hurting for money. Owns multiple properties all over the world. I even said that if we can make it that if anything were to happen to me she could still get half. I'd want my half to go my son which is also the reason I don't want to move somewhere cheaper.
My ex husband let's me visit outside their place whenever I want. If I had my own place with a suitable bedroom for our son we'd be splitting custody 50/50. Anyways, sister and her husband have sent me a barrage of angry texts calling me a greedy a-hole. Curious about your opinion. Please be gentle.
What do you think? This is what top commenters had to say:
Kris82868 said:
Gentle YTA. Need really has nothing to do with it. You aren't entitled to it more than your sister is.
Eastern-Water9701 said:
YWBTA if you don't drop it. She's entitled to her share, irrespective of her financial position. I don't think you're greedy or wrong for asking, but the answer is sadly no. Could you ask to buy her out via a payment plan?
Kmia55 said:
So you inherited half the condo and half the debt on it. The only fair thing IMO is to sell it, settle the debt and split the proceeds if any.
grw313 said:
NTA But you need a lawyer.
tyj0322 said:
NTA. Anyone who has multiple homes taking consistent housing from someone who has no home is hella selfish
TNnan said:
You can force a sale thru the probate court. Your sister can't unilaterly decide not to sell it.
92bombom said:
NTA but I would forget about the condo, sell it, grab your half of the equity and dump that sister of yours.
shilo31 said:
You are NOT the AH! I can't tell you how many people I know personally who are in your exact same boat OR are the AH relatives. Not only are they the AH's but they will spend more then the property is worth to take you to court and force you into spending money you don't have to deal with their greed. Good luck. I wish you the best.
Commenters are divided. What do you think?
She later shared this update:
I just want to thank everyone who has been kind and took to time to read through my comments, giving me advice. I just wanted to say I've read them. I had a big breakdown last night because I realized I was in way over my head with all this legal stuff. You guys were asking me to look up laws and probate and just so much stuff I don't understand at all.
I was trying and furiously googling. In the end, I called my ex (he's a lot more savvy with this kind of stuff but I try not to intrude in his life) and had a bit of a cry while explaining everything that was going on with my dad's stuff, me being locked out, and just all the other drama with my sister.
He said back when our son was born my dad gave him a copy of his will (since that was also around time my dad started getting sick). Long story short he found it this morning and the condo was left to US. There should also be an RESP for my son. IT IS SIGNED AND NOTARIZED BY A LAWYER!!
He said he will help me through the process and that we can contact the lawyer together and my ex will help explain things to me. Also, as mentioned in the comments, when we divorced, my dad told me he was updating his will leaving the to condo me (I was not aware this was in reference to the fact that he had previously put my ex husband in the will), so we both expect there to be a new will.
However, I know my ex and believe him when he says that if there isn't he won't try to take anything. My spirits have been lifted and I am very hopeful this could all work out. I'm already day dreaming of having my son back home with me!!!