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'AITA for refusing to split my inheritance evenly with my brother?' UPDATED

'AITA for refusing to split my inheritance evenly with my brother?' UPDATED

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"AITA for refusing to split my inheritance evenly with my brother, morally speaking?"

Last year, I (30 M) received news that an aunt whom I had never known existed, had passed away. She left me her house and a fairly large sum of money in her bank account. In her will she wrote that she and my late father, her only sibling, had stopped keeping in touch with each other over a ‘family dispute’ years ago before I was born.

But she knew that my father had a son (me) before she moved away to another city. She never had children herself. Anyway, my wife and I were beyond ecstatic about it. We decided to put the house up for rent. We wanted to handle this financial windfall wisely. On the other hand, when my brother (29 M) found out about it, he became really upset.

He reasoned that since aunt had moved away before he was born, she had never known that I had a brother, thus deciding I was the only one to whom she would bequeath her possessions. He demanded I split the money with him. Here’s the thing. History repeats itself. Growing up, my brother and I never got along well. He takes pride in his sense of freedom being wild and a troublemaker,

partying hard, smoking weeds, going to rock concerts, spending weeks and even months traveling the world, never settling down in one place for too long. I, on the other hand, am a very organized person. I have a stable job which I love. My wife is 5 months pregnant and I can’t be happier. So excited to be a father.

Nevertheless, in a way I think my brother’s right. Aunt would have split the money between us if she had known that my father had another son. I didn’t want to repeat my father and aunt’s mistakes, so I split the money from her bank account evenly with him. But it wasn’t enough for him. He insists that I sell the house as well and split the money from its sale. Only then it would be fair, according to him.

I refused. I told him no. The house and money are legally mine. It was my name written on aunt’s will. My name only. I can’t change the past. It’s not my fault that aunt had never known he existed. He became furious. He asked how I would feel if I were him. He accused me of being greedy, money-hungry, avaricious, everything, you name it. He even threatened to bring the case to court. But I stood my ground.

Nowadays, I have started to feel kind of bad about the whole situation. Ignoring the fact that legally the house and the money are mine, maybe he is entitled to 50% of the house? Maybe selling it and splitting the money from its sale is the right thing to do? Morally speaking, AITA for refusing to sell the house and split the money from its sale with my brother?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

YTA. First, did you really post that he smokes the weeds and attends rock concerts? Holy judgmental and pretentious.... While legally the money may belong to you, morally, what you’re doing is fucked up.

whereugetcottoncandy said:

NTA. Someone neither of you knew gave you a windfall because she happened to know you existed. Here's the thing. Neither of you "deserve" anything from your Aunt. Neither of you are entitled to anything from her. You kept the object you were given and you split the liquid assets with your brother. That was nice. Now he's just being greedy. Over something neither of you expected or "deserve".

His brother got something nice that no one was expecting. And he felt he deserved half just for existing. And you split the easily split half with him. If this is what causes him to break up the sibling relationship, if he's willing to sue you for "exactly half" of a gift you got that neither of you were entitled to or deserve, the money won't fix the problems with the relationship.

[deleted] said:

YTA morally speaking but also for the “I’m a stand up guy and my brother goes to concerts so he’s useless” mentality lmao

CriticalShaft said:

OK, well legally you would win in court. The house belongs to you. He has no right to sell it at all. YTA morally. He deserves it just as much as you do

Verdict: YTA.

UPDATE:

Thanks everyone. I think there are some things that I need to get straightened out. To those who say that I am being rather judgmental towards my brother because he ‘takes pride in his sense of freedom being wild and a troublemaker, partying hard, smoking weeds, going to rock concerts, spending weeks and even months traveling the world, never settling down in one place for too long',

I have to admit maybe yeah I was being rather judgmental a bit. But I’ve never had any problem with that. It’s his life. He can do whatever he wants to do. The only problem I have with it is the fact that because of his lifestyle, he always keeps running out of money.

He doesn’t even have a permanent place to stay. And I am the only one he turns to whenever he has to deal with financial problems. I mean as his brother, I tried my best to help him and to always be there for him whenever he needed me. But then I got married. And my priority changed. But he stays the same.

Still parties, travels a lot, smokes weeds, etc, which I find a bit irresponsible considering the fact that he doesn’t even have a stable job and only relies on me to help him and oftentimes support him financially. I have tried many times to knock some sense into him, to no avail.

He can party hard, travel, go to as many rock concerts as possible, smoke as much weed as he can, he is free to do whatever he wants. But I have a family of my own to take care of now. I won’t always be there to get him out of trouble. I have some reasons why I refused to sell the house and opted to put it up for rent instead. I’m saving it for later.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my brother despite our differences. But he’s not the most reasonable person on Earth. He’s been spending the money I gave him partying and traveling again obviously. If I sold the house, and split the money from the sale, he would just do the same things over and over again. And by the time he has no money left, it’s predictable what he would do.

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