Someecards Logo
'AITA if I send a cease and desist letter to my late husband's daughter?' UPDATED

'AITA if I send a cease and desist letter to my late husband's daughter?' UPDATED


"WIBTA if I sent a cease and desist letter to my late husband's daughter?"

Here's the original post:

I (58f) was left the sole beneficiary of my late husband’s will. My husband died this year from a heart attack. He left me a very large amount of money, as well as our house that was in his name and a few other properties outside the city. He left nothing, however, to his children. His children (30F and 28M) have been contacting me incessantly about the money and properties.

They feel that they should each get a property and a portion of the money. My husband did not have a relationship with his children however, which was largely a result of his previous wife’s actions (this isn’t just my opinion-I heard the calls and saw the court documents). His second child is not biologically his, which he found out when the boy was 3, which led to the divorce.

His wife, however, convinced the kids that he had cheated on her (he hadn't). His children hated him as a result of her actions (though he was a loving dad) and refused any contact. This crushed my husband. The hurt grew into resentment, and he decided not to leave his children anything when he died. He updated his will 4 years ago. I do not want to give his kids anything either, though I have the means to.

I told them as such and the daughter blew up at me and began calling me nonstop. I blocked her but she somehow got ahold of my work email (I am a professor) and sent me several angry emails. Neither the son or daughter is well-off and the daughter has 3 kids who I’ve never met.

She has a house, however, so I believe she wants the property for her mother (apparently her mother loved those properties- they have been in my husband's family for generations). I do feel bad for her kids, but their mother has treated me terribly (and my husband would roll over in his grave if his ex-wife acquired one of the properties) . WIBTA if I sent a cease and desist letter to his daughter?

What do you think? Is she the a-hole for this? Here's what top commenters had to say:

NoOneNameLeft said:

NTA theyre basically strangers to you. they didnt want anything to do with him alive so they dont get anything from him dead. dont give them anything.

Pale_Natural3655 said:

NTA. So the son called about his bio dad, but didn't have a relationship with your husband because he thought he was the one who cheated?

BoatGoingUphill said:

Terrible situation. Sorry you lost your husband. He made his feelings very clear, and had the will changed. This is not a matter to be second guessed. His position is crystal clear. They treated him terribly. Even if the children were manipulated, they are old enough to make their own minds or reevaluate old decisions YEARS ago.

You are also clear on your wishes, so the situation should be mostly at rest. No need to let your kinder emotions betray your instinct in this matter. They are not in need of money to save their lives. They do not have a right to your assets (note they are yours), or to harass you. Do what you need to do to protect yourself from possible petty acts or harassment and move on with your life.

Your husband would have wanted you to be as happy as possible in his passing. I believe you must hold course and stay firm. NTA

And KatieL6547 said:

NTA - I would recommend setting yourself up so that they cannot speak to you unless through a lawyer. They have no claim to it and actions have consequences. They just want money it has nothing to do with their father.

The clear consesus is: NTA.

The woman later shared this update on the situation:

Thank you for the comments on my post - I cannot reply to all, but please know that I am in contact with a lawyer. Also, to clarify: my husband and I married when he was 49 and I was 45. His son was born before we met.

My husband's ex-wife (wrongfully) claimed that he cheated on her prior to her becoming pregnant with the son after it was discovered that the son was not his. She was not contesting the parentage of the child (as that wouldn't make sense); she was trying to keep the children from their father. I apologize that this is a bit confusing.

Edit 2: My lawyer has drafted the cease-and-desist letter and will be sending it to the daughter this week. We also went over my husband's will and she told me that if the daughter tries to contest it she will have nothing to stand on. Aside from sending me another email, the daughter has not contacted me any further nor has she contacted anyone at my work. I also have not heard from the son.

I am now actually considering sending the son a small sum of money, as I found out through Facebook that he was recently accepted to a PhD program (in a subject somewhat related to the one I teach, actually). I plan to send him enough to cover at least a year of tuition costs. I have spoken with my lawyer about this and she agreed that this is appropriate, but that I should not tell the daughter.

The son is also not close with his sister so I do not see her finding out. Lastly, when I re-read my post, it looks like I painted the son in an unfairly bad light; while he did ask for a property, he did not "contact me incessantly"; that was actually just his sister, and I made a mistake in my original post. Thank you for all of your comments and help, I appreciate it!

© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

Featured Content