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Woman asks 'AITA?' for not paying to change adulterous father's 'insulting' gravestone. UPDATE

Woman asks 'AITA?' for not paying to change adulterous father's 'insulting' gravestone. UPDATE


One woman's creative way to get revenge on her deceased husband led to some family drama. So her daughter asked the internet:

"AITA for not paying to change my father's gravely insulting gravestone?"

My father and mother had a very bitter marriage towards the end of his life, he had a long running affair with another married co-worker and got her pregnant before he passed. He was planning to leave mom, skip the country and move to Canada to start a new life with her. They had a house picked out and all.

He had moved out and was living with his co-worker when he suddenly died of a heart attack. Divorce papers were never filed, no legal separation. They were in the process of moving all things legal. But on paper, they were still happily married.

Now me and my siblings are already out of home, our youngest sibling is 19 and is in college. I work for a tech company and I'm currently back in my hometown helping my mom manage his estate.

Well, my mom was hurt and petty and marked his gravestone as "In loving memory of John Doe, son, husband, father and adulterer." My dad's family and his pregnant partner are mad and want me to fix it. I personally think its fine, that's who he was. He was all of those things. And since it's my mom's plot, I can't do anything. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say:

NatureWoman22 said:

I would DIE (no pun intended) if I was walking through a cemetery and saw that! Your mom is an icon. NTA. I hope she burns his old shirts or something. Also, while going through estate papers and talking to lawyers, ask about what rights the side piece will have in claiming money for her kid, since it was your dad‘a kid too. Just so you’re all prepared.

dodo_273 said:

NTA "And since it's my mom's plot, I can't do anything." ... So: Not even your drama.

"My dad's family and his pregnant partner are mad and want me to fix it." - Stay out of it. Tell them to talk to your mom.

Ju5tc411m3A said:

NTA your moms a straight bad ass though 😂

KarenOfRequirement said:

I dig it.

KarenOfRequirement said:


- OP's Mom

No-Policy-4095 said:

NTA - it's not yours, it's your mom's to deal with. She's given her answer on the matter, so it's closed. If they're so offended by the accurate description, then perhaps they should go buy a park bench at a park and dedicate it to him how they want to dedicate it to him and go there to "visit" him...this is so not your problem at all.

BTW, your mom is awesome.

ThrowRA1039485 said:

NTA. He decided for a long time that he wanted to be an adulterer rather than file divorce papers. That leaves everybody with little legal recourse and there isn't much you can do.

DaLoCo6913 said:

NTA, buy your mom dinner.

Since the original post, the woman has shared this update:

Side piece is currently 9 months pregnant, about to pop anyday. My mom has lawyered up and since my dad died intestate, according to our state laws everything goes to mom. Mom won't leave anything for side piece. She is going to leave it for us once she passes.

Clearly, the internet is Team Mom.

What do you think? Did her pettiness cross a line? Or did she memorialize her husband exactly as he deserved?

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