Parents spend daughter's college funds on son; 'education for women is not valued.'

Choosing between family and money is extremely difficult, and far too many are forced to make that decision. But often, it's the family making you choose...

When an ambitious woman was entitled to an education by her progressive deceased relative, her living relatives had other plans. Here is her story from Reddit's 'Am I the A-hole' forum:

'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for suing my parents for my college money?'

u/Accomplished_Bar5656 writes:

My great-aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives. In our culture, education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bullsh*t.

She lived with her father in London where she was educated. She went on to attend university and became a doctor. She married a British man, they moved to America and had a great life.

She funded the education of as many of her neices and grand neices as she could. When she passed away she left money for every girl relative she could.

My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother's wedding. My sister didn't care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention of going to college.

When I graduated I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone. There was like $13,000 left.

I asked my parents about it and they said they had needed the money. I finally found out where the money went. I got furious. I got student loans and moved out. I am a great source of shame to them and I don't give two f*cks.

I am currently suing them for the money that was left for me. My entire family is against me. They all think I am a complete a-hole for airing private family business in public. And that I am putting money ahead of family.

My friends are all on my side but they are all Americans and don't really get my culture. Neither do I, to be honest.

My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I drop the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract. He said I was being an a-hole for not trusting him. I said he should not have accepted my money for his wedding.

It is causing all kinds of embarrassment in our community. I am somewhat ashamed to be doing this but I don't want to have this debt I should not have.

What do you think? When does family and cultural sensitivity trump personal rights? Is there a clear A-hole in this situation, and who is it?

Reddit ruled a big fat NTA (not the a-hole).

SmutDad suggests:

NTA. She set up that fund precisely to stop this kind of sexist preferential treatment. Do it.

Timely-Ask-1327 says:

NTA. Your parents didn't borrow your money. They stole it. I hope you have all the documents to show that money was yours. Your brother is also the AH for trying to get you to drop a lawsuit with what is most likely a lie. If you have a chance to start life without student debt you do whatever you can to do that. Your parents, and I'm sorry but their culture, sound completely toxic. I'm glad you got out.

Mopper300 points out:

Noooooo, they think you are an a-hole for holding them accountable for their awful actions. They thought you would be a pushover, but you are showing them you're not. Your great-aunt would be proud of you.

And you aren't the one putting money ahead of family. They did when they stole your money. They already showed you how little they think of you or respect you or love you as a family member when they screwed you over. NTA obviously.

kavk27 agrees:

NTA Your parents and your brother had the opportunity to keep this a private matter when you told them you would sue them if they didn't return the money or pay for your schooling. Since you have already been betrayed by family members you trusted, your brother should not be offended that you want a written contract.

newfriend836639 adds on:

Screw the written contract. I would tell him to pay up NOW, upfront and in full, and once you have the money, THEN you will drop the lawsuit.