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'AITA for telling my mom a lie my twin and I told as kids? It ruined our relationship.' UPDATED

'AITA for telling my mom a lie my twin and I told as kids? It ruined our relationship.' UPDATED


Truth is stranger than fiction, but it can be hard to tell the two apart.

A popular post on the Two Hot Takes subreddit inspired a lot of passionate responses and discussion about the nature of truth itself.

"AITA for telling my mother a lie my twin and I told as kids? It ruined our relationships."

I (F28) Rachel, seem to have made a pretty big mistake. My father is sick and I recently have been trying to reconnect with my family. For my father's birthday I agreed to see my twin sister for dinner for the first time in 7 years. I guess I was never special enough for her, because the day she moved out, she cut all contact with me.

This really hurt, and I haven't been interested in seeing her until our father asked a week ago. My mom and I have never been very close, but something in her opened up when we were at dinner, and she was laughing with me, telling stories. We had a few glasses of wine and I made the wrong judgment call that enough time had passed to now tell her this story in a light hearted manner.

Anyways. We moved to a new school when we were starting grade 3, my twin sister (F28) Sandra had come up with this funny prank that we were going to pull on all of our classmates. She told me that we were no longer going to tell people that we were twins. We were going to tell them that we were triplets.

We were going to pretend that we had another triplet at home that we were not supposed to talk about. She was always more liked than I was and I was trying to make some friends this year. So, I obliged. We started telling every kid that we were triplets, but our sister was so hideous that our parents had decided to keep her locked in the basement and made us pretend like she wasn't there.

We got creative with it. We smudged muddy handprints on paper and claimed they were hers. We drew pictures of all three of us and showed it to our friends. I have no idea what possessed her to come up with this or what made me think it was a good idea, but...about 2 weeks into grade 3, social serviced showed up at our house along with 2 officers. They arrived when our grandparents were over.

They did an entire investigation but the details I don't fully remember. I do remember being questioned by a kind lady in a really big blue jacket, but not much else. I remember my sister glaring daggers at me. We both refused to admit anything and it was chalked up to our classmates making things up. A lot is blurry. There was an assembly at school about the importance of lying.

And we never had our grandparents over again. I suppose our family became an embarrassment in our community and church because of the scene we had made. We must have convinced out mother that the lie had nothing to do with us, because when I told her last night at dinner, I half expected her to laugh and admit that she knew all along.

Instead, she stood up, swung her hand back, and slapped me hard. She yelled at me about how I had destroyed our family name and brought embarrassment to us. She screamed at me to get out of the house, but she also screamed at my sister, Sandra. My mother told us that we were not invited back. Especially in a time when our father is so sick. I feel terrible, but it was my sister's childhood lie.

How horrible could we really be? Should our mother really not let us come back to see our father before he passes? My sister I think will never look at me again, and now I'm wondering.. AITA? Or is my family overreacting?

TL;DR: My sister and I told kids in grade 3 that we had a third ugly sister our parents kept in the basement. It was a huge deal in our community. I finally confessed to our mom and she has disowned us. My sister hates me.

Redditors had a lot of comments and questions.

AbroadMammoth4808 wrote:

You are 28 years old and you don't see why your mother is hurt and angry. Wow. You thought a story how you and your sister broke up the family, caused everyone around immense stress, risked your parents losing their children was going to be something to laugh about. And you take no responsibility, because it was all your sister's fault.

You are very immature for your age. You take no accountability for the stupid prank that could have ended really badly, which makes me think you are deflecting when you say you don't know why your sister cut you off. Poor victim you. Of course YTA.

OP responded:

I was a child and it was a stupid mistake.

LocalBrilliant5564 wrote:

Are you f#$king delusional? You’d be lucky if she ever speaks to you again? You and your sh#$ty sister made up a lie that your parents were f#$king child abusers, it was so bad social services got involved and your mother was cut off from her family. I would never speak to you sociopaths again. You’re both horrible daughters.

OP responded:

I was a child. Our family is extremely religious to the point of excommunication based off of a child's lie and you think I am the delusional one?

thisandalso wrote:

It’s strange that you pretend it just your sister’s lie. Sure, she came up with it, but you want along with it and spread the lie. At least take half responsibility.

lemaquilleur wrote:

OP is lying, no other way about it. There is no way she doesn’t know why her twin cut her off. 7 years estranged from her twin, who moved out at 21? It is a lot for a 21yo to make a decision like that, at least it seems like it would be to me. OP didn’t talk about the family dynamic at all, either. OP is definitely the AH, and selfish to boot to bring it up in that manner, at that time.

Ryn_AroundTheRoses wrote:

YTA. The lie isn't the issue, you were kids. Not coming to understand the severity of the impact that lie had on your family at 28yo is where you messed up, and putting the majority of the blame on your sister because she came up with it shows an added layer of immaturity. You never told the truth about it before now, fine. But why even bring it up then?

Sounds like maybe you had a guilty conscience, or you wanted to stir the pot, maybe even subconsciously, as a way to get back at your sister or your entire family for ignoring/abandoning you all these years. I'd explore that in therapy, no shade. If you really have some unresolved issues with your family, maybe it's time to just be upfront about your feelings instead of pouring salt onto old wounds.

Three days later, OP's twin sister posted an update.

Hello, this is the sister, "Sandra." A work friend showed me this post as it wildly resembled a story I had told her. Here's the thing. I, "Sandra" (F28) am not the twin that started that lie. "Rachel" (F28) used to constantly torment me as a child. There is a reason that we don't talk anymore. She would pinch me and yell out before I could that I had pinched HER.

She would hide my favorite stuffed cat and laugh at me when I cried. She would scratch my name onto things at school so that I was blamed. Once, she cut off one of my pigtails when I was sleeping and ran straight to our mom saying that I had done it. My hair was down to my waist. I ended up with a bob cut. I have a scar from her kicking me off of my bike.

She made my parents believe that I was a liar. As she got older it turned into stealing and got worse. That's why I cut her off. She always played the perfect girl. She had good grades and was star of her soccer team. She was well liked and popular. I on the other hand was NOT. Nothing was or is ever her fault. Something deep down in her despised me from the start and she tormented me my whole life for it.

When we started 3rd grade, it was at a new school. My sister came to me with a smile that I look back on and see now as evil. She promised me that if I played along with her little prank she would tell me where she put Tinker (my stuffed cat) when we got home. She had gotten into a fight with our mother that morning, I wonder sometimes if this is why she did this.

I wonder if she knew more than she pretended to about the consequences. Then came the lie and everything that followed. Not only did she keep Tinker hostage for over a week, but she would constantly be pinching me and glaring at me when no one was looking. Constantly telling me not to tell.

I tried telling my mom that she stole Tinker and I got Tinker back with no tail and my sister left the scissors in MY bed so that I looked like I did it. My mom thought that I was trying to get HER in trouble because she was just THAT convincing and maniacal. She would often shove my back when I was near stairs and then grab my arm like it was a funny joke we were both in on. I was scared of her.

My sister is pure evil and has never changed. I could go on and on. Recently we tried to get together for my father's birthday. He is dying from liver failure and at home on hospice. Backstory: Our mom never recovered from postpartum depression after having us. She hardly ever showed us affection, and would often look at us with distain, and tell us how we ruined her life. My father was no help.

He was a drunk empty shell of a man the moment he stepped through the door from work. These were our perfect families dirty little secrets as children. Our church was extremely strict and image meant everything to my family. As a child our priest actually took a paddle to me because I wasn't "obeying my father."

I will not be mentioning my church name or religion out of respect to those who worship there and to not stain the image of our religion and God. I hope you understand this. Back to the dinner. I was sitting with my dad when out of nowhere my mom started screaming bloody murder and dragged me out of the house spitting insults at me and my sister. We were not welcomed back.

My sister had told her about our childhood lie. She told my mother what we had done as children. She told my mother I had started the lie and that I had been tormenting her and lying about it. I did not even look at my sister. I just left. She twisted it all. I am at a loss for what to do. I moved out at 21 with limited contact with my parents and no contact with my sister.

I see my parents about 4 times a year, and call every week. I still worship God, but at a lesser level and in a different city. I want to see my father before he passes, but I don't want to bring more stress into his final weeks. How do I apologize to my mother? My sister had her convinced since we were kids that I was the "bad egg". How do I fix this so I can see my dying father? Thank you.

Redditors were simultaneously wary of, and invested in the update. It inspired a debate about the meta nature of Reddit itself.

Yiuel13 wrote:

I read your sister's post. Sincerely, you're probably better off never seeing the lot of them. Your sister's for obvious reasons, but your parents were pretty much as bad. I wonder why you want to see your father again after all you suffered because of his lack of involvement.

You are well within your right to want to see him a last time, but I wouldn't do that myself. I know he's sick and may die, but his behaviour wouldn't be worth my precious time and commitment. But overall, I feel for you. I hope you are happy with the community where you are now.

demandapanda wrote:

PLOT TWIST! Neither of these two OPs realize it but they actually do have a triplet.
These two are genuinely both completely innocent and are convinced that the other is evil and tormenting them BUT...that's actually the triplet. Been f#$kin with them alllll these years from her little basement nook.

Desert_Fairy wrote:

Under the basic assumption that this is not BS.

OP, do you want to see your father before he dies because of your relationship with him or because of your religious guilt?

Your sister is likely the product of general emotional neglect (you have it too, she just reacted differently from you) and needs a fair amount of therapy to unf#$k herself in the head. You are dealing with your own emotional neglect. The neglect from your parents is showing how you want to somehow make a life long relationship right in the final weeks of life.

That ship sailed years ago and it wasn’t your fault. Nothing you do or say now is going to change the decades of neglect your parents showed you. They won’t love you or say they are proud of who you have become. You got a shi#$ty hand in life and need to work towards building the family that you never had. Do so with care and find the joy that your formative years lacked.

Lost-and-dumbfound wrote:

So a friend from work knows that when you were a child you lied about your mum locking up your triplet sister in the basement and that CPS had to be called and it ruined your family's reputation? You describe this person as a work friend, not even your closest friend.

I call BS. No one walks around telling people at work their deepest darkest secrets like that. I thought the first post was fake, this one just convinced me. Either you're the same person as the first OP, or you saw it and were inspired to write a response from the other twin's POV. Good luck in your creative writing journey.

pyronostos responded:

You might be surprised at the deeply personal type of s#$t coworkers will just Tell you. especially in high-stress jobs.

Glittering_Win_9677 wrote:

Next update will be from mom explaining she never recovered from her PPD because there really WAS a triplet that died at birth and this lie brought it all back. That's also why dad is an alcoholic.

trea_ceitidh responded:

Oh, yeah. My first day at a new job and a coworker told me he'd stabbed himself in the stomach with a butcher knife, because his girlfriend wanted to break up with him, resulting in hospitalisation and 11 stitches 😬

Mrs0Murder wrote:

I'm not convinced either, but, I will say some people just overshare.

This is the reason I know how with a former coworker, her dad used to take her to a corn field as punishment.

SwampAss3D-Printer wrote:

Third update is dad dying in hospice and the entire post just boils down to "I just wanted to grill" also he was a shell of a man cause he had a second family.

The one verdict that is unanimous in this saga, is that the internet is an unhinged place.

Sources: Reddit
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