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'AITA for telling my (teen) sister I'm not helping at all with her baby when it's born?"

'AITA for telling my (teen) sister I'm not helping at all with her baby when it's born?"


Posted by u/Ordinary-Nail-3640, here's her story. Let us know what you think!

My (18F) sister (16F) got pregnant from her boyfriend at school who, surprise surprise, moved with his entire family the second he found out. She's currently due in six months, and obviously isn't doing the best mentally right now. She'll be able to finish this year at school, but starting next year they have some kind of online course program so she can still graduate while taking care of the baby.

Our parents made it this baby is her responsibility, and aside from watching it when and only when she's at work, they aren't going to contribute to its care at all. The plan is for her to work starting now until she can't, than start working again to pay for the kid once she recovers. I think that's fair, it will be her child after all, and I think even agreeing to watch it at all is very generous.

I feel the same way, and told her I'm not doing anything. I don't like kids, so I'm not holding it, watching it, feeding it, anything. When I told her this, she broke down crying and said I don't realize how hard this is. I reminded her that that's not my problem, and it's not too late to change her mind if she can't handle it.

She pretty much blocked both me and our parents out after that, she never talks to any of us anymore. On one hand I feel bad because I'm sure this is a lot for her, but again that's her responsibility. Some of my friends think I'm being too heartless to my future niece/nephew, but I didn't make them, so I don't see that as my problem.

Here's how people judged OP:

Some people thought NTA:

AuntieEms writes:

NTA your sister chose this, if she didn't know that's how babies happened then that's on your parents and the education system. If she was aware then she chose to have do this knowing there could be consequences. Either way it's not on you to fix them.

Deucalion666 writes:

NTA she literally fu**ed around and is finding out. Her mistakes are not your problem.

gooossfraabaahh writes:

Agreed. No matter how wealthy, generous, or forgiving you are, you are never obligated to care for another person's child. It sounds like OPs sister would do well to seek a fit family for adoption, to give that baby what it deserves.

Glass-Gear-rr writes:

NTA: Not everyone enjoys or desires involvement with children. You owe no one anything regarding their child.

A few people had nuanced thoughts:

marmelydov writes:

NTA for not wanting to take care of the kid. But you and (particularly) your parents are massive a**holes for how you're treating your sister. She's a child who f**ked up. She's now rightly terrified of how hard her life will be. Making her choose between aborting her baby and losing the support and empathy of her family is some heartless s**t. YTA. Learn some empathy.

seh_23 writes:

Even my adult friends in great partnerships with very wanted babies need help and support from their friends and family. I feel so bad for OP’s sister, she needs support and guidance right now, not getting shut out and a “tough love reality check”.

Some people said YTA:

drivethruhell writes:

There is a massive difference between setting a boundary and going out of your way to prove a point. She gets it. You’re disappointed. Going beyond that just makes you a serious a**hole. YTA.

InkyCreatures writes:

YTA, she's a teenager and yes she f**ked up but you all dogpiling on her about her kid is messed up. She sounds like she's doing fine despite being abandoned by the baby's father and emotionally by yourself.

koryisma writes:

YTA, OP. You don't have to take responsibility for the child, but supporting your sister emotionally and building a relationship with the child is possible without changing your lifestyle. This kind of attitude contributes so much to postpartum depression or anxiety. People really do need a village - and outward hostility and judgement like this are incredibly damaging.

CleaningHatz writes:

100%. S**t happens. So OP, in a few years don't be surprised when your sister and 'it' have nothing to do with you or your family. Tough love is one thing, but this seems cruel to me.

Sources: Reddit
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