Guy pays for himself on family vacay; sister is furious she lost 'free' sitter. UPDATED

"AITA (Am I the a-hole) for saying I'll be driving myself and paying for my own room on the upcoming family vacation so I won't have to be a babysitter?"

u/No-Ride-Throwaway writes:

I 23m was repeatedly stuck playing the part of helper and babysitter on family outings. I had to move out of my parents' house because I kept being forced to help watch my three nephews (triplets).

Last year we took a family vacation in summer to the coast. I rode along with my parents, and they paid for my hotel room. Only, I had to share that room with three rowdy boys because my sister and her husband wanted a room to themselves.

How nice for them.

I was promised time to do my own things on the vacation. But instead I ended up having to help with these kids. I complained to everyone about it, and was reminded I was there for free.

Free? Or in exchange for labor?

And then we pretty much just did only one thing I wanted to do. Which was tour an art gallery. I like doing this whenever I'm at the coast. But the kids find it boring.

This year my parents have a beach trip planned for June. And they assumed I'd be riding along the same way as last year. But I refused. I said I'd be driving myself, and paying for my own hotel stay to have my own room.

My parents were shocked, and tried to remind me of the cost. I said it was no worry. I've got a good job and a decent running car. I can more than afford it. That's when the 'Buts' started.

Of course...

I stated the previously listed things as why I'll be driving myself and paying for myself. I want to be able to enjoy this vacation as an adult, and not be treated like a child like last year.

My parents told my sister, and she called to blow up at me that I'll be ruining the vacation if I'm off doing my own thing while she has to wrangle her three boys. I ended up yelling at her that last year all she did was rope me into her mess.

I didn't really get to do much of anything I wanted to do. And I was treated like the bad guy for wanting to just go to an art gallery. I'm a grown man. I deserve my own vacation too.

Now my sister is not speaking to me, and my parents are still trying to convince me to just ride with them to keep the peace. I'm still refusing.

But the pressure is getting to me. AITA (Am I the a-hole) for not giving in? I know they'll have a pretty hard time when they won't have another person there to help.

Here's what Reddit had to say...

FormalType5124 wants to know:

INFO: How old are the triplets?

OP:

Seven years old.

KronkLaSworda rules:

NTA (Not the a-hole). Do not give in. It's time to stand your ground. This internet stranger is proud of you. Holy sh*t. Never in the history of AITA has there been such a clear-cut case of Golden Child and Scapegoat, and I've seen some doozies.

SamSpayedPI agrees:

She's admitting she's ruining your vacation so as not to ruin her own! They're her kids and her responsibility. NTA. In fact, you're nicer than I would be; I'd just say 'no thanks; I've got other plans' and avoid the family vacation altogether.

Normal-Height-8577 says:

At this point, I would personally be saying 'Okay, you guys have collectively made it very clear that I'm not wanted as adult company but only as free childcare. I think we would all be better taking a break from that dynamic in the interests of preserving family feeling, and so I will not come on this year's vacation at all. I wish you guys all the best, but I will be vacationing alone somewhere else this year.'

Also? Tell your parents that you can't keep the peace when someone else is responsible for breaking it - your sister's determined steamrollering of your time and goodwill is not something that you can just lie down and take forever. She is a parent and it's her job to care for her own children. Even on vacation.

OP then adds to his original post...

Edit: It's barely been an hour since I posted. But my sister is apparently a reddit lurker in the mornings, and she saw my post. Not only is she furious with me. But she's also upset no one in the comments is siding with her.

To make it short, she went on a big rant about how it's so hard to be a parent to triplets. And the least I could do is help because I'm young and single, and she needs a break. I stood my ground on my decision, and now she's calling our parents to get them involved. I'm expecting a call from them any minute.

So No_Yogurtcloset_1020 writes:

NTA. As a mom of 3 rowdy boys myself, you aren’t doing anything wrong. Your sister is a parent, so it’s her job vacation or not to parent her kids. You’re child free and should be allowed to enjoy your vacation without being a babysitter. Your sisters vacation is only ruined by her choice to have children.

So, there you have it!

If anyone is ruining a vacation, it's the people expecting a vacation from parenthood.