Family

<h2>Family is everything. But what happens when your family wants to have a say over literally everything? How do you draw boundaries?</h2><p>When a teenager found her life upended by a visit from an aunt, the family dispute became so large that she (<a data-click-id="user" data-testid="post_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Rude-House6051/">u/Rude-House6051</a>) had to take to Reddit to ask:</p><h2>&quot;<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xd2y7c/aita_for_yelling_at_my_aunt_for_destroying_my/">AITA</a> (Am I the as*hole) for yelling at my aunt for destroying my stuff?&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>I (F16) just got grounded over the summer for screaming at my aunt and mother. So this last summer we had my aunt come visit from a Latin American country. She has enough money to stay at a hotel but my mother insists that I give up my room for her.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>No problem. I have the second biggest room and it has a private bathroom. I&#39;m grown up enough to understand that my mom wants to visit with her sister. So I go sleep in the basement. It has a very comfy couch and my dad has his gaming setup down there and he lets me use it.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>The problem comes one day in. I needed to grab some stuff from my room. My mom was out with my aunt so I was just going to go and get it.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Literally all my stuff was off my walls. My posters, my pictures, my little momentos from cons I&#39;ve been to. All gone. Bare walls. WTF. So I start looking for where all my stuff is and I can&#39;t find it in the room.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I finally found it in a garbage bag in the garage. A lot of it was ripped to shreds. She didn&#39;t take out the tacks or anything. She just tore it off the walls and destroyed it. I also found some concert tees. Also destroyed.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I am still devastated. Some of these bands I will never see again. And everything was purchased with my own money.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I waited for them to get home and freaked the fuck out. My mother had to be part of it because the garbage bag obviously was one of ours and it was on the garage where we leave our garbage awaiting garbage day.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>My aunt said that a woman shouldn&#39;t have things like that and that I was going to hell for my choices. There was nothing bad on my walls. A priest might object to some of the images but he would not throw Holy water on them or anything.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>My mom grounded me for yelling at her and her sister. I waited for my father to come home and told him everything that happened. He went and looked in my room and asked my mom questions.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I was still grounded because that&#39;s how they parent. They do not go against each other&#39;s discipline.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>However he did, right in front of my mom and aunt, transfer a large sum of money from the family vacation fund that we were going to use to go down and visit my mom&#39;s family and bring gifts to my personal account to replace my stuff. Only my dad is on my account.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>He told my mom we aren&#39;t going next year because now we can&#39;t afford it. And when she started to cry about it he told her he would tell everyone it was her and her sister&#39;s fault for what they did. My mom says I overreacted and I am an asshole. AITA (Am I the as*hole)?</p> </blockquote><h2>What do you think? Did OP and her dad overreact? Or did her mom and aunt do something so obviously wrong it almost feels like a joke to ask?</h2><p>Reddit ruled a hearty and heartfelt <strong>NTA (Not the as*hole)</strong> and offered OP some comfort.</p><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Curious-One4595/">Curious-One4595</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>Cultural mores are no excuse for being an asshole and religious ones even less so. Your aunt was horribly out of line. WTF is wrong with people exercising unauthorized dominion over other people&rsquo;s property?</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>NTA. You know this. Your dad did the right thing. Your aunt should reimburse the family and apologize to you. I don&rsquo;t see that happening because, for all her aggressive piety, she is an evil person.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DrawerFar743/">DrawerFar743</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>Maybe they even planned it and it was the main reason they wanted to use her room.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sjyffl/">sjyffl</a> comments:</p><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;m over here cheering for your dad and that BOSS move although I would have rescinded your grounding, I think the way he handled it was so much more malicious to your mom/aunt and I secretly love it. I&rsquo;d gladly take a grounding to have it really have impact to your mom bc she allowed it to happen. Also your aunt is a jerk and should be sent to a hotel.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/artofpencilz/">artofpencilz</a> agrees:</p><blockquote> <p>This. NTA. Growing up in a similar culture where family visiting felt they had all say and control over you, this is all on your mom. She needs to set boundaries with her sister. If she&rsquo;s fine with you having this stuff when her sister isn&rsquo;t here, then she also should be fine otherwise. There was no need to do this. Glad to see your dad has your back.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Sea-Ad9057/">Sea-Ad9057</a> points out:</p><blockquote> <p>nta ... good chance your dad was not a fan of your aunt to begin with either.</p> </blockquote><p>And OP responded!</p><blockquote> <p>He is not. We spent most of her visit in the basement.</p> </blockquote><h2>So, there you have it!</h2><p>Looks like the aunt was the real issue here, but thank goodness daddy sorted everything out. Good luck, OP!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Religious aunt destroys teenager's room while visiting, so BIL takes revenge.

Family is everything. But what happens when your family wants to have a say over literally everything? How do you draw boundaries?When a teenager found her life upended by a visit from an aunt, the family dispute became so large that she (u/Rude-House6051) had to take to Reddit to ask:&quot;AITA (Am I the as*hole) for yelling at my aunt for destroying my stuff?&quot; I (F16) just got grounded over the summer for screaming at my aunt and mother. So this last summer we had my aunt come visit from a Latin American country. She has enough money to stay at a hotel but my mother insists that I give up my room for her.  No problem. I have the second biggest room and it has a private bathroom. I&#39;m grown up enough to understand that my mom wants to visit with her sister. So I go sleep in the basement. It has a very comfy couch and my dad has his gaming setup down there and he lets me use it.  The problem comes one day in. I needed to grab some stuff from my room. My mom was out with my aunt so I was just going to go and get it.  Literally all my stuff was off my walls. My posters, my pictures, my little momentos from cons I&#39;ve been to. All gone. Bare walls. WTF. So I start looking for where all my stuff is and I can&#39;t find it in the room.  I finally found it in a garbage bag in the garage. A lot of it was ripped to shreds. She didn&#39;t take out the tacks or anything. She just tore it off the walls and destroyed it. I also found some concert tees. Also destroyed.  I am still devastated. Some of these bands I will never see again. And everything was purchased with my own money.  I waited for them to get home and freaked the fuck out. My mother had to be part of it because the garbage bag obviously was one of ours and it was on the garage where we leave our garbage awaiting garbage day.  My aunt said that a woman shouldn&#39;t have things like that and that I was going to hell for my choices. There was nothing bad on my walls. A priest might object to some of the images but he would not throw Holy water on them or anything.  My mom grounded me for yelling at her and her sister. I waited for my father to come home and told him everything that happened. He went and looked in my room and asked my mom questions.  I was still grounded because that&#39;s how they parent. They do not go against each other&#39;s discipline.  However he did, right in front of my mom and aunt, transfer a large sum of money from the family vacation fund that we were going to use to go down and visit my mom&#39;s family and bring gifts to my personal account to replace my stuff. Only my dad is on my account.  He told my mom we aren&#39;t going next year because now we can&#39;t afford it. And when she started to cry about it he told her he would tell everyone it was her and her sister&#39;s fault for what they did. My mom says I overreacted and I am an asshole. AITA (Am I the as*hole)? What do you think? Did OP and her dad overreact? Or did her mom and aunt do something so obviously wrong it almost feels like a joke to ask?Reddit ruled a hearty and heartfelt NTA (Not the as*hole) and offered OP some comfort.Curious-One4595 says: Cultural mores are no excuse for being an asshole and religious ones even less so. Your aunt was horribly out of line. WTF is wrong with people exercising unauthorized dominion over other people&rsquo;s property?  NTA. You know this. Your dad did the right thing. Your aunt should reimburse the family and apologize to you. I don&rsquo;t see that happening because, for all her aggressive piety, she is an evil person. DrawerFar743 writes: Maybe they even planned it and it was the main reason they wanted to use her room. sjyffl comments: I&rsquo;m over here cheering for your dad and that BOSS move although I would have rescinded your grounding, I think the way he handled it was so much more malicious to your mom/aunt and I secretly love it. I&rsquo;d gladly take a grounding to have it really have impact to your mom bc she allowed it to happen. Also your aunt is a jerk and should be sent to a hotel. artofpencilz agrees: This. NTA. Growing up in a similar culture where family visiting felt they had all say and control over you, this is all on your mom. She needs to set boundaries with her sister. If she&rsquo;s fine with you having this stuff when her sister isn&rsquo;t here, then she also should be fine otherwise. There was no need to do this. Glad to see your dad has your back. Sea-Ad9057 points out: nta ... good chance your dad was not a fan of your aunt to begin with either. And OP responded! He is not. We spent most of her visit in the basement. So, there you have it!Looks like the aunt was the real issue here, but thank goodness daddy sorted everything out. Good luck, OP!

Family is everything. But what happens when your family wants to have a say over literally everything? How do you draw boundaries?  When a teenager found her life upended by a visit from an aunt, the family dispute became so large that she...