'AITA for canceling a vacation with my niece because I didn't want to pay for my SIL?'
"AITA for refusing to pay for SIL and canceling the vacation?"
I (F28) have a great relationship with my niece Ava (F9). She loves me and I love her. She has no issue staying with me for days on end. So I asked my brother if I can take her on a trip with me, to Disney, for a week. I knew she would love it since we watch Disney movies together all the time. He wanted me to ask SIL. Definitely. She said they will let Ava go if SIL can come along with.
I asked her if it was because she didn't trust me. SIL said no, she just wanted to come with. I told SIL she can come along with as long as she pays her way. We can all share the room, so she will have to get tickets (airplane) and her own ticket. She said she didn't have money for it and since I don't have kids or family, and have enough income, I should pay for her to come too.
I didn't like it. Technically, I have the money. But I don't like the way she said it and I have my own financial plans. I told her I won't pay for her. She said she won't let Ava go. Though disappointed, I cancelled the idea. My brother called me next day asking why I cancelled the trip, and Ava was looking forward to it. (I didn't tell her about the trip).
I told him my conversation with SIL. He was upset with SIL but didn't have money to pay for her. He asked if I would cover. I said no, just on the principle. I felt SIL was forcing my hand and I didn't like it. Now my brother is calling me AH for refusing to cover SIL and cancelling a vacation I promised Ava. (I didn't promise Ava) AITA?
Per usual, Redditors kept it one hundred percent real.
FloMoJoeBlow wrote:
NTA. First, you didn't tell Ava about the trip, so either brother and SIL are lying about Ava being upset (when she doesn't know about it), or they told her about the trip and now she really IS upset.
I totally understand a parent wanting to accompany their 9-year-old on a trip, but if brother wants you to include SIL on a trip that she wasn't invited on, then they can foot the bill. Methinks SIL's vested interest in going on the trip had to do more with getting a freebie vacay rather than accompanying her daughter.
numberonebuddy wrote:
NTA. The sheer audacity to demand her trip be paid. She never had a Disney trip before or something? She's been missing this her whole life and saw an opportunity for a free ride? So entitled. It's too bad you couldn't get a trip with Ava this time but I hope you can spend more time with her in the future without SIL imposing and mooching.
Only-Ingenuity7889 wrote:
Tell SIL you've decided to take Ava camping for a few days instead and SIL can tag along for that for quality time with Ava. Bet you SIL's answer is going to be a big 'f#$k no', because she's only interested in free Disney. NTA.
Sonoshitthereiwas wrote:
NTA. You never told Ava. If anyone told her, it was them. Still trying to manipulate you into paying her way. Just offering to pay for Ava is more than you needed to do. Then they tried to take a mile more. I would probably talk to Ava and see if she actually knew. It’s possible she doesn’t and they are again trying to manipulate you.
If she does know, maybe say something like “I would love to take you, but your Mom said she wouldn’t let you come with out her and she said she had to save up some money before she could afford it first.”