Mom 'lies' about baby gender to MIL, MIL spills secret, gender reveal gets awkward.

People get really intense about gender reveals, to the point where it can be legitimately scary. Ideally, the assigned gender of a baby wouldn't carry such a massive weight before you've even met them out of the womb, but people have their intensities.

Beyond the party itself, the main appeal of a gender reveal is the element of surprise (thus the reveal), so when someone spoils it ahead of time it can seriously hamper the purpose.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for lying to her mother-in-law about the gender of the baby in order to get her off her back.

She wrote:

AITA for 'lying' to my MIL about the gender of our baby after she promised to keep it a secret?

I didn't really want a gender reveal party but my husband's family made a big deal about it so I agreed. My mother-in-law was convinced that I knew the gender and insisted I tell her. I totally didn't and I told her that fact. She wore me down after a month of bothering me about it. She begged me and promised that she wouldn't tell anyone. This was all in texts. I told her it was a girl.

I figured it was a 50/50 chance and it would get her off my back. Well, she lied. When we cut the cake to reveal a blue inside there was a really awkward silence. She had told literally all of the guests from her side of the family so they could bring appropriate gifts. My friends and family quickly gathered around to congratulate us on our son. She came over and hissed at me that I made her look stupid.

I reminded her that she had PROMISED not to tell anyone. She said she had never promised so I showed her our text conversation. Some of her family waw right there when I did that so they heard her admit that she lied and had never intended to keep that promise. She said that it was a dick move and that I only did it to embarrass her.

I again reminded her that I had told her on multiple occasions that I did not know the gender. My husband wants me to apologize to keep the peace. I probably will but I don't think I was an a**hole like she seems to think.

People jumped on with their hottest takes on the situation.

cryinoverwangxian wrote:

NTA. She embarrassed herself.

“I’m sorry you embarrassed yourself by lying” is about the only apology I’d be willing to give.

YouSayWotNow wrote:

NTA. And I'm sick of people being told they should apologise when they did nothing wrong in order to keep the peace. Being forced to appease bullies / people who break boundaries is harmful. Submerging yourself to please others is harmful. Not having the person who did wrong held to account is harmful.

lifeisntsirius wrote:

NTA. It’s kind of hilarious how hard karma hit her lmao. She has no one to blame but herself for the embarrassment she’s facing.

Normal-Height-8577 wrote:

NTA. Also, never apologise to keep the peace - the person who breaks the peace should be the only one apologising! In case your husband is confused, that would be his mother, who not only harassed you unrelentingly until you picked a gender at random, but also broke a promise of secrecy.

If she's embarrassed, it's the result of her own bad behaviour. And if she apologises, then you can be magnanimous and forgive her. But you absolutely should not apologise to her.

OP is fully in the right, and should not apologize to keep the peace, as it sets a bad precedent for future mother-in-law run-ins.