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‘AITA’ debates how much trouble man should let kid brother get in after break in.

‘AITA’ debates how much trouble man should let kid brother get in after break in.


Here's a plot line they never did on Modern Family. A 19-year-old, at the peak of his powers, tried to use his out-of-town brother's house as a secret hook-up spot to cheat on his girlfriend. It backfired beautifully, and now the brother wants some support for teaching his kid bro a lesson. Wait, they definitely did not do this on Modern Family — right?

'Am I the A*shole for letting my little brother get arrested for breaking and entering?' writes the older brother, who goes by the name of Glad-Cash6941, on Reddit's favorite advice forum. He writes:

I (32M) just got married. I left my parents keys to my home in case of emergency. I then left for my honeymoon. We went to Costa Rica and had a great time. However there was one hiccup.

My younger brother (20) decided he wanted to have some private time with his girlfriend's best friend. He knows my parents would NOT be okay with that and never allow it in their house. His girlfriend is very nice and I thought that they were happy but I guess he was thinking with the wrong head.

The master criminal's scheme went as follows. 'Grab keys. Enter house. Profit.' It didn't quite work out.

He took the keys I left my parents and went to the house. He set off my alarm but didn't know the code. He tried calling my parents for it but didn't explain why he needed it so they didn't tell him. He made a run for it but the neighbors had called the cops already.

So long story short he gets arrested. He shows them the keys and says he has permission to be there. But no alarm code. He finally gets my folks on the phone and says he was just trying to prank me and can they please come get him out of trouble.

These parents are going to be some incredible in-laws. Their loyalty lies completely with the girlfriend.

My parents want the full story. He admits why he was there. And they get pissed. They won't go to the cops. So when I finally got home he had been released because of the laws on first time offenders and I assume because the cops knew he was going to catch heck from our folks. But he was still charged.

Here's why the kid bro blames his older brother.

He is mad at me for not telling him about the alarm. And for not responding to all his attempts to contact me on my honeymoon. I'm not sure what I could have done from there anyway.

I did get him a lawyer and we got the charges dismissed. I am making him pay me back for the lawyer even though he says it's my fault.

I laughed in his face.

Let's recap. The little brother scoops up the keys to his brother's apartment, takes a girl there, opens the door, and doesn't realize his brother has an alarm. His brother — on a honeymoon — does not answer the phone. The kid gets booked.

Overall, you can guess where the comments landed.

Nx85 writes:

NTA. Blaming others for one's own choices and actions is a huge red flag. Huge. And you even paid for his defense. I'd change the locks if I were you.

Regular_Giraffe7022 concurs:

NTA, what planet is he on? He steals the keys to YOUR house so he can cheat on his girlfriend with her best friend. Then has the audacity to blame you for his plan going wrong? I wouldn't even have got him the lawyer to get his charges dismissed.

However, debate did erupt at the bottom of the forum, where criticism focused on the extent to which the older brother enables his little brother's behavior. Consider OP's update to the post, where he explains where the situation's at now:

Yes I paid for his lawyer. He effed up but I didn't want him to have a criminal record. Odds are my parents would have cooled down and paid and not made him pay it back. So my way is more of a punishment.

He works for me so I am just keeping 75% of his pay until I am paid back in full.

He didn't really run from the cops. What he did was lock the door, get in his car, and bail. They caught him like a block away and he cried.

In another comment, OP responded to a commenter who wanted him to press charges for theft and breaking and entering. The older brother wrote, 'I'm not wrecking his life because he's a hormonal idiot.' Lawyerofthebirds responded:

This answer made you TA. He is 20 years old. He's not a child. Sit for a second and think about what other behavior 20 year old men have had excused because they're 'hormonal' or 'just wanted 20 minutes of action' and fix your perspective.

This wasn't a spur of the moment thing - he planned it. With his girlfriend's best friend. That's cruelty, not hormones. If I were your new wife I'd be super concerned about your language and attitude surrounding his cheating. You talk about him like he's 13!

As an added bonus critique, Whatthehonker took umbrage with OP's method of recouping his losses.

'He works for me so I am just keeping 75% of his pay until I am paid back in full.' That's severely messed up and illegal. You can't do that.

And that's why you sort comments by controversial. There's always something else to consider, and on the internet, the jury's never back from deliberation.

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