Man demands brother leave dog out of fam trip. ‘He says my toddler is far worse.’

Here's a family trip that's off to a great start already. Before they agree to the trip, one (adult) brother is demanding the other (adult) brother leave his dog at home. The catch? There's a toddler in the mix. OP writes:

WIBTA for not going on a family vacation because my brother wants to bring his dog?

Pre-Covid I (33M) would go on family vacations with my family (My Parents (late 50's), Brother (27) and Sister (29)), these occurred about every other year. For a multitude of reasons we haven't done a trip since 2018.

I am married and we have an 18 month old. My sister has a boyfriend, and my brother has some sort of terrier and no GF I know of.

My brother has morphed into a self described 'dog dad' and based off social media seems to rarely do things without the dog. We live in the same city, but different areas and we don't see him all that much.

The few times i've been around his dog it behaves fine. Its too friendly for me and I can't speak to how it behaves over multiple days or around babies.

My parents have a Vrbo beach house in Florida booked. In a few week the deadline for a full refund for canceling is coming up and my parents need to know if we are in.

We live in the west side of the USA so we'd be flying. I found out my brother plans to bring his dog. My parents aren't thrilled about it but 'it is what it is', those are my parents words.

I'm not a dog person, I despise them on airplanes. I do not want to travel with the dog (tentatively we are on the same flight), I do not want to stay the week in the same house as the dog, I do not want activities based on being dog friendly, and I do not want the dog around my son.

Our parents want to stay out of it and have us hash it out. I broached the topic with my brother. Essentially he isn't flexible on the dog, it is his family and it is a family vacation.

He says my 18 month old will be far more annoying and loud than his dog. He seems firm on this and I'm ready to pull out of the trip. If I don't go, the trip may fall apart. WIBTA?

Opinions did not swing this man's way.

DoraTheUrbanExplorer wrote:

YTA. It's a small dog and you said it was well behaved. It's fair to ask the dog is kept away from the baby.

A baby is a far more inconvenience than a dog. You can leave a dog home alone for a few hours if people want to eat at a nice restaurant. It's rude to bring a baby to a nice restaurant, they have bed times and they scream at movies.

Kids are awesome- but you're on a different planet if you think the vacation is going to revolve around the dog- it's going to revolve around your baby.

txa1265 wrote:

YTA - and his statement 'He says my 18 month old will be far more annoying and loud than his dog.' Is ABSOLUTELY true.

Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but 'family' isn't defined solely by squirting out an infant or having shared the same space pre-birth. He has told you that his dog is a non-negotiable, and I assume that your toddler is a non-negotiable. You hate dogs, he might hate kids. Neither is more or less valid.

Your ideas are not compatible - but I'm calling you the a-hole because you believe your position is superior rather than just different.

Bizzy1717 wrote:

NAH though I think this is a really weird hill to die on since the dog is admittedly small, well behaved, and non-aggressive.

Also as others have pointed out: this vacation is 100% going to revolve around your toddler, not the dog. Honestly, I'd rather vacation with a small dog in the house than an 18-month-old (and no, I don't hate kids, I have one, which is why I know a 'vacation' with a toddler isn't particularly easy or relaxing).

_mmiggs_ wrote:

NAH. You don't want to spend time with a dog. Your brother doesn't want to go on vacation without his dog. Neither of you is wrong, but your vacation desires aren't compatible. Sounds like your 'family vacation' plans don't really work any more.

naisfurious wrote:

YTA. Take a step back and look at the situation. You're considering pulling out of a cross-country family vacation because your brother is bringing a small dog. Your brother is most likely correct in that your child will probably be more of a hassle than his dog.

Your Brother is your brother and your parents are in their 50s. Going every other year, how many more of these vacations do you think you all have left together? But, I will relinquish that it is your family and your vacation so you have every right to do whatever you want.

Ju5tSomeb0dyEls3 wrote:

NAH. You have a baby, he has a dog. Dogs can be annoying on planes, babies can be annoying on planes. You don't want to do dog friendly activities, others may not want to do baby friendly activities.

If he wants to bring his dog, that's fine. Lots of people take dogs to beach vacations. If you don't want to go, that's your choice. But sounds like a shame for what appears to have been a nice family tradition.