When a wife missed out on an opportunity, she thought she knew exactly who to blame... Only, she didn't. So her husband (u/Glass-Vase7099) took matters into his own hands, eventually taking to Reddit to ask:
AITA (Am I the as*hole) for putting my wife's ex husband on speaker and letting her hear about what he's done?
I (M35) married my wife (F36) a year ago. She's divorced from her ex husband 'Joseph' (M39) and they share custody of their daughter 'Mia' (F15).
Joseph has alwats been a sh*t stirrer. He tends to starts arguments and setting everyone up to argue with each other. Whether it be me, my wife, her family etc. somehow framing me as the cause for all the terrible things happening.
So. My wife has been trying to find a job and finally get an opportunity to work at a decent company not too far from where we lived. She had an interview and was waiting for a response when the company called and told her that HER HUSBAND contacted them and told them that she had xyz issues which resulted in her getting disqualified for the position.
She came and yelled at me accusing me if sabotaging her career and trying to control her while ruining her reputation. I swore that I had nothing to do with it but she said the company said that her husband contacted them. They refused to reveal his contact info.
I figured it was Joseph especially when he hinted about it. He'd usually call to brag after causing an issue and making me the bad guy. I didn't wait for his call I called him myself, put him on speaker and had my wife listen.
I lured him into confessing and bragging about impersonating me and ruining the opportunity for my wife. My wife was furious she left and there was a huge argument at his house.
He called me yelling saying that I 'set him up' and that my wife won't get off his back about it now and moreover, his daughter Mia is now not speaking to him. He said I should've minded my own business since this wasn't about me but I said that he was the one who tried to set me up.
Anyways, he's pissed and is still making a fuss about me 'invading his privacy' and keeps giving me sh*t about it.
Reddit ruled a hearty NTA (not the as*hole) on this one.
NTA, but I have to ask... knowing how her ex is, why did she immediately think it was you and not him f*cking with her. And has she genuinely apologized?
Hold up, the ex husband is upset that you “set him up” but he’s been setting you up the entirety of your relationship as the bad guy? Furthermore your wife and her family hasn’t realized by now that it is him that stirs the pot and not you? I’m sorry but I don’t think I could stick out this relationship being blamed all the time when it’s not you doing this sh*t. Judgement: NTA.
NTA. HE'S mad at YOU? Frankly, I would go to the police, and then to a lawyer - impersonating someone, sabotage, this is beyond conflict or 'pranks' and needs to be shut down RIGHT NOW. What next? He calls up Mia's intended college and tells them her grades were faked so she doesn't get to go?
Yeah she could definitely sue for defamation (assuming the stuff he told the potential employer was untrue). And she'd even have quantifiable damages that could run pretty high! Even if he didn't defame her though, this is definitely harassment and she should file for a restraining order.
NTA. I hope you recorded the call, if it's legal to do so where you live. If I were your wife, I'd contact the company, and let them know what had actually happened, and how I felt about them accepting his word without giving me a chance to clear my name or even verifying that he was who he claimed to be.
I don't know what he told them, but if even one word was not true, I would ask the company for a notarized, written affidavit and let them know that my attorney would be subpoenaing them to testify in the anti-defamation lawsuit I was filing against my ex-husband for slander.
Joseph is definitely TA here, but it seems like OP and his wife has a lot of stuff to work out, too.