Woman decides to cut grandchild from son's one night stand out of will.
In this post a guy wanted to know if he's in the wrong, because his brother is pissed. Here's his side of the story.
My mom is getting older and wants to create her will. She’s still capable herself for the most part and also has a lawyer, but she lives with us anyway so I help her with a lot of things including this. I have two teenagers. My brother has a teenage daughter with his wife of 20 years.
However, they briefly separated a decade ago and he has a son [9M] from a ONS during that time. They've always had a visitation schedule and we (the extended family) known him since he was a preschooler.
But as of a year ago he's living with my brother and his wife full-time as his mother passed away, and is now more integrated into our family. My mom accepts his son as her grandson as do the rest of us.
My mom wants to leave a small property she owns to be split among the grandkids. The assumption is that when the time comes they’ll sell it and split the proceeds since it’s not sentimental or easy/convenient to share ownership of.
9M is the sole beneficiary of his mother's death, and is the sole beneficiary of his very elderly but very well-off maternal grandparents. The funds from his mother alone are considerably more than the property my mom owns.
So my mother allocated him a token gift but didn't think it made sense for him to be cut in equally to the other 3. It has nothing to do with him being born outside of the marriage or anything like that.
My brother found out and demanded his son be cut in equally to the property, not really because the money, he knows as well as we do that 9M doesn't need it, and more because of what it meant symbolically for 9M to not be cut in. My mom repeated that it didn't make practical sense but said if I agreed, she was willing to split it four ways instead.
But I said no, I agree with her that it's illogical. Let's say the property is worth 200k when my mom passes away, 4 ways that's 50k each, 3 ways that's 67k each. If we were talking about $200 I'd understand, but I can't justify taking 17k from each of my kids' futures for a symbolic gesture.
Obviously the exact amount will depend on the market, 200k is just a reference point/current value. I told my brother that I didn’t think that was fair to my kids, he said I was being mercenary. AITA?
More from OP:
My mom didn't meet him until a bit later and until a year ago didn't see much of him because he was living with maternal family but he's very much her grandson, no one has ever said otherwise. He's just as much her grandson and my nephew as his sister is her granddaughter and my niece.
I mentioned that she doesn't think differently of him so people don't think otherwise, though obviously it didn't really help since there are a lot of people saying my mom and I hate him. But I can honestly say that if one of the other three had a huge inheritance instead of him, I'd say the same thing, even if it was one of my kids.
If this was a post about some other family disagreement, I would have said my brother has two kids, I have two kids. It's only mentioned because it's very relevant to explain why he has a 6-figure trust fund and is in line for additional inheritance.
My mom made the original decision. My brother argued with it. My mom said that if I agreed with my brother, she'd change it. I said no I don't agree with him, making the original decision stand by default. So I was pulled into it by my mom, and not taking a position would still be taking a position.
His inheritance from his mother's death is mid-6 figures. That's already his though of course in a trust given his age. His grandparent's net worth is easily over a million and I know he's the sole beneficiary but I don't know the exact numbers.
The comments saw both sides of this:
YTA. OP’s mom can do whatever she wants with her money but if she cares about how it is perceived then it should be equal. The grandson’s other inheritance should not be a factor.
NTA, your mother wants to do what she can to give all of her grandchildren a head start in life. The needs of the youngest child aren't the same as those of the older 3 and your mother is taking that into consideration.