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Dad cuts son out of will in order to 'protect' property from son's new MIL. UPDATED.

Dad cuts son out of will in order to 'protect' property from son's new MIL. UPDATED.

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Writing a kid out of your will because of their choice of spouse can majorly affect your relationship with them, but some parents are willing to take that risk.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a dad asked if he was wrong for writing his son out of the will due to his choice of wife. He wrote:

"AITA for writing my son out of my will?"

My wife and I (48M) have a son, John (26M) who recently told us that he is asking his girlfriend, Cece to marry him. We’ve met Cece a few times before and she seems like a nice girl, but we have concerns about Cece’s family.

My wife and I own a few rental properties and John stays in one of the properties rent-free as he is still in grad school, and free housing is something my wife and I’ve always agreed to provide for all our kids, especially while they are in school so that they don’t have to worry about rent in a high cost of living area.

The concern with Cece’s family comes from having met the family a couple times before; they seems inappropriately interested in my wife and I’s finances, and Cece’s mother (from what I’ve heard from my other kids and a little from John), is close to retirement, has no savings or plans set up for retirement.

Her mother has multiple times attempted to move in and live rent-free in one of my properties because according to her, it is “her future son-in-law’s house”. My take is that Cece’s mother sees John, who is about to graduate from med school, as their retirement security.

John’s my oldest and I’ve signed a will where he gets a large amount of cash plus the property that Cece’s mother was trying to move into. I’m not sure if the mother knows that and that’s why she was trying to move in, but John does know about what he is inheriting. My biggest fear is that somehow that family will end up with a piece of the house for whatever reason once I pass.

John has a pure heart and always sees the good in people, and I think his future mother-in-law will take advantage of that. When John told me he's getting married to Cece, I requested he sign a prenup to protect his inheritance (and also prenups are advisable in general), but he was vehemently against it.

I told him that he will be written out of the will and the house will go to our other kids if he marries her without a prenup, but seems like he is not budging, so I've gone ahead and started plans to leave the house to my other kid. I think I have good reasons to not trust Cece’s family and their intentions with my son.

I’m not going to tell a grown man who he can and can’t marry but I want to protect what I am leaving for my children. My son has stopped talking to me and I'm not sure if I was that unreasonable.

Redditors shared all of their thoughts.

firestar126784 wrote:

Why don’t you put it in a trust so that it can not be used as community property in event of divorce?

SunshineShoulders87 wrote:

Ok, so I think you should trust your gut and, based on the example of the future MIL already pushing to live rent-free in your property, I think you’re onto something. That being said, what you’re considering will cause your son considerable pain, angst, and embarrassment.

I realize 20-something-year-old me did and nearly did quite a few very stupid things with the best of intentions, so I recognize the need to protect him…is there an option to place these properties in a trust so as to protect him, but also to not actually write him out of the will?

Consult an attorney on the options for maximum protection and flexibility, of course, but it feels like it shouldn’t have to be all or nothing. NAH - it’s your property.

Huggle-Puggle wrote:

NTA. You could do a trust and have a trustee continue to exercise control after your death or even in your will have a prenup clause (my father did that) where anyone who wants to inherit must have a prenup.

Initial728 wrote:

NTA. Trust your gut - why should you have outsiders come in and take what you worked for. Maybe you want to leave your son a bit of cash but nothing major that the in-laws could benefit from. It would be interesting to see how things would turn out if the GF's family knew that your son was getting nothing and would not be funding their retirement etc.

After receiving a lot of feedback, OP jumped on with an update.

Update: A few things to add because my concerns about Cece's family are not coming out of no where. We are mostly concerned about the house, my son will still be receiving the huge chunk of cash on the will, he will be getting something, just not the house, sorry should have made that more clearer.

When my wife and I met Cece's mother, she's made multiple comments about how her future son in law has her retirement taken care of, and she has asked us multiple time if she could move into the house to the point where it was getting inappropriate.

OP is NTA here, it's just a tough situation.

Sources: Reddit
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