Dad snaps at BIL who criticized son for going to therapy; wife is pissed. AITA?

Letting your kid know that you have their back is essential, especially if they're being bullied or mistreated by another adult.

Kids, no matter how confident or headstrong, need modeling on how to stand up for themselves, so they know it's okay and necessary to be their own advocate. Of course, this might not look clean and simple in real life, since the heat of the moment can inform what 'standing up to someone' looks like.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for telling his brother-in-law to 'f off' after he insulted his son for going to therapy.

He wrote:

AITA for telling my BIL to F off after he called my son a girl for being in therapy?

My (38m) 15-year-old son has been in therapy for the past few months after his best friend died. It was very hard for him and while I've always been there to help him, my wife and I felt that having a therapist would be best. He seems to be making a lot of progress, so I know it's working. Unfortunately, my BIL is a 'men shouldn't express emotions' kind of guy.

I've always thought that was BS, so I made sure my wife and I were on the same page about not letting that happen. Last night there was a family gathering. My son had just had his therapy session, so we picked him up and drove there.

While we were there, my son was telling me about something they talked about, and my BIL must have overheard, because he started on a tangent about boys not needing therapy and calling him a girl. I probably wouldn't have reacted if my son hadn't been there, but my son was visibly hurt by what he was saying. I was pissed at him and told him to F off and that right now my son is more of a man than he is.

I would have liked to say more, but I didn't want to upset my son further. I admit that I might have gone a little too far, but I was defending my son. But I don't think someone who shames someone else for being healthy while also being sexist is being a 'man.' My BIL just glared at me and stormed out of the house. My wife told me that we were leaving so I got my son and we left.

My son didn't say much the rest of the night, but my wife sure did. She was mad at me for doing that, and saying I disrespected her brother. I tried to explain I was just defending my son from him, but she wouldn't take it and is ignoring me.

I'm still mad over this. My son was shamed for expressing his emotions and then everyone gets mad at me for defending him. But all of their reactions are making me second-guess myself and wondering if I'm the AH. AITA?

Redditors were quick to give OP their thoughts and assessments.

adjective-study wrote:

NTA. Your BIL disrespected your child, who is going through something incredibly difficult at a young age. You did your job as a parent by standing up for him.

whatsmypassword73 wrote:

LOL, NTA, we call out toxicity wherever we see it, especially when it involves children, even more when it’s family, and even more when it’s our child. Your wife needs to pull herself together quickly and get some therapy to figure out why she’s willing to toss her child under the bus to appease a bully?

Iustthetip wrote:

NTA. Good dad, many dad points. I can't say this enough GOOD DAD.

You need to have a chat with wife though and get her head straight.

Zabes55 wrote:

You are a hero. Your BIL is TA. Sadly, your wife values her brother more than she values her son.

Logical_Block1507 wrote:

NTA. That kind of toxic masculinity needs to be gone. I'm glad you stood up for your son, and I'm VERY glad he's in therapy and responding well to it. The only part that wasn't cool was the 'son is more of a man' part. Don't get into comparing masculinity, it just feeds into the whole garbage.

OP is definitely NTA here, it's just sad his wife is an enabler to her toxic brother.