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Dad tells son he 'drives like a woman'; sparks a family debate that spreads to Reddit.

Dad tells son he 'drives like a woman'; sparks a family debate that spreads to Reddit.

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Giving driving lessons is frustrating, scary, and aggravating. But it is really the 'driving' that brings out the worst in people?

When a father used a expression he thought was innocent (lol), he was quickly corrected. And then he came to Reddit, where he was corrected even harder.

'WIBTA (Would I be the A-hole) if I stopped giving my son driving lessons?'

u/sondrivinglessons writes:

My son is a learner driver and currently in driving school and I have been giving him extra driving practice which is something he wanted.

Earlier on, he was sometimes too hesitant and lacked confidence when merging on the freeway and changing lanes which can be dangerous if you go too slow or check the mirrors so much that you stop looking ahead.

I pointed this out and he is a getting better at it. However at times he still hesitates and when he does, I would tell him he is driving like a woman.

He had no issue with this at all and would correct himself when I said that. I did not mean it in a bad way, my daughter is a great driver, picked up driving naturally and passed her test the first time.

He got upset at me all of a sudden and asked me to stop saying that. I have no issue, stopping with that remark and replacing it with something else, but I don't appreciate being lectured as if I am sexist when I was just trying to help him, and used the phrase more like an idiom.

My wife agrees with me and thinks he was being petty, but my daughter agrees with my son. My son and I used to talk like this all the time when he was younger but lately he and my daughter have become closer and she is influencing his views.

I think maybe it was wrong to say that but not a-hole level since I did not mean it literally and I am more bothered about how he lectured me and treated me as if I am a massive sexist than if he had just asked me to stop. I have been happily married for many years and I am no sexist.

I was considering stopping the extra practice drives and just letting him use his paid instructor.

Wow. I think we can all see where this is going...

Reddit, do your thing.

jaxbravesfan goes in:

YTA (You're the a-hole). As a father of two girls, I despise guys like you who use insults like, “drive like a woman,” or “throw like a girl.” And insults is exactly what they are, not idioms. An idiom would be “raining cats and dogs.”

What you’re doing is trying to shame your son into being a more aggressive driver by questioning his manhood by comparing him to what you obviously believe to be the weaker gender. I don’t blame your son one bit for not wanting you to teach him to drive anymore. Sounds like he’s turning out OK despite your best efforts to turn him into a sexist jerk.

ToddDeBakis recaps:

'I used to bash women with my son all the time but now he and his sister are close and he's starting to respect women 😭😭' YTA

zalkaare says:

It doesn't matter if you don't feel sexist. Saying sexist sh*t makes you sexist.

wantacornetto points out:

It genuinely baffles me when people, especially guys, say stuff like this because statistically women are safer drivers . It's the same when guys say women take over conversations or talk more because there have been actual studies showing that men tend to speak/say more on average. These misconceptions should have died out years ago and good on his son for realising that early on.

OP tries to defend himself:

I genuinely think I used the phrase as an idiom as I do not think less of women drivers, and was just using a short phrase to describe hesitance and lack of confidence. My daughter is a great driver and my wife is fairly decent as well.

BriCheese96 writes:

I love that his son has grown up and decided for himself that these sayings aren’t okay despite the fact that OP states he used to make statements with his son all the time growing up. So he was ACTIVELY teaching him to be sexist, yet the son didn’t follow with his beliefs. Which isn’t normal.

Sexism and racism isn’t born, it’s learned. So generally when someone’s parents teach you to be one way, you grow up believing it. I’m very happy his son has decided to break that belief.

Ingenuity_Hopeful comments:

YTA holy sh*t. How can women drivers be bad while you simultaneously say your daughter is a good driver? This is not a saying or an idiom, it’s a sexist POV that holds no water (women statistically get in fewer accidents than men and pay lower rates for insurance).

Your son doesn’t want you to say that because he knows in his core it’s ugly and bigoted. Maybe your daughter should finish teaching him to drive? Seems as though she is adept in her skill and moral compass. Words matter and kids don’t forget the things their parents say, shape up my dude.

And OP responds:

I definitely do not think women are worse drivers. It is just an expression, there are old car adverts that mention the term too. I know that women pay less for insurance especially young women compared to young men.

I wanted a term I could use to make him think and identify what he was doing wrong and correct it himself without me explicitly telling him what to do. Even my wife agrees with me.

FoxCat9884 then adds:

I really feel for the wife in this story as well. A+ job for the daughter taking charge and help mold a teenage boy into a great man. I hope the children can help the wife not become so broken down by her husband. If OP isn’t careful and completely change his sexist ideology he will likely have minimal contact from his children as adults.

After that enormous internet-lashing, OP decided to update his original post:

EDIT: Ok I get it, I will stop using the term, that was not the issue anyway, I would have had no problem if he just asked me to do so without accusing me.

Well, we don't know whether Dad is going to resume his driving lessons...

But let's just hope he doesn't resume his 'idioms' any time soon.

Sources: Reddit
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