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Bi mother calls partner her 'soulmate'; daughter defends 'abusive' father.

Bi mother calls partner her 'soulmate'; daughter defends 'abusive' father.


The announcement of a little 'family addition' went wrong when one woman called her mother 'insensitive' for referring to her new partner as her 'soulmate' instead of the woman's father and mother's ex-husband...whom she also admits was 'abusive' towards her mother.

u/AfternoonHaunting55 didn't understand why everyone was mad at her after calling her mom 'insensitive'. Even her husband took her mother's side. So she asked Reddit:

AITA (am I the a-hole) for saying my mother is insensitive for calling her new partner her soulmate?

I’m 21F, recently welcomed my own child into the world and I’ve been pretty emotional since. My mother always encouraged me to express myself, be independent and got me into things like art and swimming, we were super close.

My dad wasn’t amazing towards my mother; he decided who she saw, what she ate and how she dressed but they separated when I was 12, and his behaviour didn’t change how he treated me because he was a great dad…up till I was 16 and he passed away he was still trying to rekindle his relationship with my mother and still trying to improve via therapy.

I know it wasn’t her job to forgive him but my dad fully believed she was his soulmate, and up till his death he was apologising and trying to get better for her. Four years ago my mother got with “Candice” and came out as bi, she said her parents wouldn’t have accepted her but now she has nobody to hide from…

I would’ve accepted it, but then two years ago they had a son, and they’re talking about another child, I did ask my mother if she felt a little old to be bringing another child in this world younger than her granddaughter and she said, in front of my husband and in laws, that “you’re never too old when you’re with your soulmate”

I did get upset, I said that’s a little insensitive when she never considered my father her soulmate - considering everything he always tried to get better for her, to support her and that even if she didn’t believe that she shouldn’t have said that in front of her child, especially when she’s been with Candice for 4 years versus first love/ 15 years she was with my dad, she went silent and the meal was awkward.

My husband apologized on my behalf, I told him not to, my mothers new partner called me a “massive narcissistic a-hole” and left. AITA (am I the a-hole)?

Let's see what the Reddit jury has to say:

LittleFairyOfDeath says:

YTA (you're the a-hole). He was abusive towards her and you think she should consider him her soulmate? He isn’t. He wasn’t. You are inconsiderate and selfish

KrombopulosJeff writes:

YTA. Do you think that any two people who have a child together need to consider each other soulmates? Your father was an abusive AH, of course she isn't going to feel that way about him. Just be happy that your mom is happy.

bigbangofstupidity says:

YTA...and Candice is giving a accurate describtion of your behaviour. You were white-knighting on behalf of your father, ignoring how he treated her for many years...because it wasn't a pleasent element in your preferred narrative. And you attempted to exercise social control in order to keep things the way you like them.

You are your mom's daughter too. Start acting like it, be happy for her happyness, and deal with your (understandable) emotional issues in a more sensible way (therapy, etc). You may not like it, but your husband did the right thing. I hope you'll see that some day, because if you don't, your marriage is a trainwreck waiting to happen. Best of luck to you.

notlucyintheskye took issue with OP's acceptance of her mother's sexuality:

YTA. You either accept your Mom as she is or you don't - It's not your place to put conditions on 'I'll accept your sexuality IF....'

There you have it! Reddit says OP is the a-hole!

We all understand that losing a loved one, especially someone who raised you, is one of the hardest things a person will have to do but Reddit users were quick to let OP know that they did not agree with her actions.

Sources: Reddit
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