I have a son, Ryan (m22). Ryan has a wife, Holly (f22). They got married and moved in together around 4 months ago after dating for 3 years. I'm really happy for them. There's just a small problem, though.
Holly has recently started making posts on social media with jokes about how horrible mothers-in-law are, all the time. When seeing them, I thought I did something to upset Holly. I asked her about it and she insisted that I hadn't upset her, and that she just posts them because she thinks they're funny.
I asked Ryan about it and he said that Holly never seemed upset at me and told me I'm overthinking it. But Holly keeps making these posts.
The rest of my family have even been asking me if everything is okay between me, Ryan and Holly because they've seen the posts too. The last straw was when Holly made a post about 'arguments with monsters-in-law'. Now everyone in my family thinks I argued with Holly when that didn't even happen.
I asked Holly about it again and she said that once again, she just posted it because she thought it was funny, not anything actually personal to me. I told Holly that she's making me uncomfortable and that she's making my family think I'm being horrible to her. Holly said that's not her problem, and that people need to learn how to take a joke.
I asked Holly to please stop making these posts because people aren't going to interpret them that way. Holly said I'm being unreasonable and told me I can't tell her what to do, and said I'm a bossy jerk.
Questions, answers and comments:
Are these the only 'joke' posts that she shared?
She posts other memes but the 'horrible MIL' ones are the only ones she posts that are at someone else's expense. She doesn't make posts joking about hating her parents or my son or anything like that.
NTA. Holly is 100% doing this on purpose. If she has an issue with you, she should talk to you about it like a reasonable adult instead of making passive-aggressive posts.
Also, allowing everyone else in your family to believe that you had an argument with her that didn't happen is incredibly manipulative on Holly's part. 🚩
NTA she knows what she’s doing. It’s attention seeking. I would stop talking to her about it. If she wants to continue doing something she knows hurts her husbands moms feelings then she deals with the consequences of a change in the relationship.
If I posted memes about cheating husbands regularly people are going to start thinking somethings going on. One time is funny..a pattern? People notice.
NTA. Holly sounds like an immature social media addict. She wants the attention playing the role gives and gives no thought to the impact of her actions. Shes a nightmare and there’s nothing you can do about.