Daughter treated badly asks, 'AITA for watching my parents become homeless?'
"AITA for refusing to help my parents with their mortgage 'forcing them to lose their home' even though I can easily pay it off?"
As children, my parents would buy my two brothers whatever they requested regardless of how expensive it was, allowed them to go on trips with them & threw them over the top birthday parties while I didn’t receive any.
For example, my brothers got to go to Disney for their birthday(s) while I stayed with my grandparents. (Fortunately my aunt / grandma took me to Disney few months later) After being called out, they said they couldn’t afford the trip for 5
As we got a little older my parents had us working in their business after school & weekends...they gave both my brothers allowances for helping out while I didn’t receive anything (& was expected to do more)
I wish it was just financial abuse though, my parents always said very hurtful things, they’d make comments when I entered the room & I honestly still don’t know what I did wrong. When my brother graduated high school, they gave him an all inclusive trip around Europe for the summer. When I graduated the next year, I didn’t even get a party from them.
I think the worst of it being they paid for both my brothers higher education but told me to figure it out because they can’t afford to pay for 3 college degrees. At 18 I moved in with my grandparents full time & decided not to go to college because I didn’t want to get into debt or put that burden on my grandparents (who offered to pay for some).
I did however take them up on their offer to financially support me until I had a job. My grandma gifted me about 5k after moving in with her to help me start an online business I told her about.
Long story short, my online shop blew up & made well over six figures my first year. Within 5 years 2 online shops & a lot of investing in real estate & stocks I now make way more money than my parents ever made combined.
During the pandemic my parents had to shut down their restaurant & are still struggling to make ends meet. They are also unable to pay for their mortgage & are afraid they’ll go homeless if I don’t support them. They also have a lot of medical bills after my father got into an accident and needed surgery for his knee
I being so grateful for everything my grandparents and aunt have done for me decided to get my grandparents their dream home & paid off my aunts debts for medical school. After realizing I can also easily afford to pay off their debts / mortgage, my parents have been begging me (literal tears) to save their home but I refused.
They told me I am an asshole & I deserved my upbringing & that I shouldn’t be punishing my siblings and forcing them out their homes for the actions of my parents. I’m not punishing my siblings though, I’ll be more than happy to support them (especially my baby sister) if she comes & stays with me or my grandparents.
AITA for “watching them become homeless?”
Additional info from OP:
I am 23F, my parents are 45f & 46M I have two brother (24 & 21 & A little sister 8). We grew up upper-middle class.
As I child I didn't know why I was treated differently but looking back now, My parents hated having a daughter, they looked at me like some sort of a burden. They believed my brothers deserved more financial support because they are men and will be expected to provide while I'd be some guys wife & would be provided for by him.
My brothers were an investment, and I was a liability. They don't think they've done anything wrong, but when I expressed to them (during our last argument) how messed up my upbringing was & that they shouldn't expect me to support them when they treated me like crap, they said, if that's how we treated you than you deserve it.
It's definitely a sexist thing. My aunt told me how upset my father was when they found out they were having a daughter. Because my sister was born way after us, she treated like an only child, and although they don't do half the stuff they did for my brothers, they definitely treat her better than me.
I do visit her when she goes over to my grandparents & love to spoil her & make her feel loved. I also check in on how she's being treated & she seems happy. I haven't lived at home since she was 3 or so
Here's what people had to say:
No_Difference_8333 writes:
NTA. But what do your grandparents think? Does it pain them to see their children like this?
Broad-Basis6799 OP responded:
My maternal grandparents (the ones who took care of me growing up) are on my side & don't think it's right for my parents to ask me for anything... They obviously feel bad for their daughter's situation but don't think it's my responsibility, especially when they've called her out multiple times & she didn't change. Also, they aren't really a fan of my father.
dazed1984 writes:
NTA. You reap what you sow. Where are the 2 brothers they gave so much to to help them out?
Broad-Basis6799 OP responded:
My little Brother (21) is still in school & my older brother has a great tech job but has a family of his own & is unable to support them much.
Thin_Difference8686 writes:
NTA. As soon as you refused, the mask slipped. They told you that you deserved their mistreatment.
UnfavorableFlop writes:
Are people forgetting the parents still provided shelter, food, and clothing? In my culture, this would be inhumane. Pay off the house, but leave it in your name. Make some sort of compromise. Jesus.