'AITA for not telling my future DIL I forgive her for lying about my wedding dress?'
"AITA for telling my future DIL not to do it again instead of saying I forgive you?"
My eldest is going to get married soon, and I have a beautiful wedding dress that I have promised my daughter that she can wear. It's basically a beaded ball gown. I have issues with my future DIL, nothing major but she has spread words I didn’t say. I’m only 44.
At the beginning I thought she just misunderstand what I was saying or I did say something that made her mad so I started to only interact with her through texts or when other people are around. I haven’t had to use any of my messages until now. She tried to call me earlier this week and I told her I was busy and to text it. I am glad I did. She wanted to use my wedding dress and do alterations to it.
I told her no since I promised my daughter that it's hers. The next day I got a ton of texts from family members about me not being welcoming and telling her that she isn’t my kid. I got so many that I just screenshot the texts and sent it to all the family. Whole family was upset she lied to them.
I got on a FaceTime call with my son and her, my daughter was in the room during this. She gave an apology and I told her not to do it again. Now my son and her are pissed that I didn’t say I forgive you.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Alarming_Reply_6286 wrote:
What’s happening here…your son’s fiancée asked to wear your wedding dress? Then texted your family lies? Is this about the wedding dress or her saying things that are not true about you? If you break a plate & apologize a million times…the plate will still be broken. Don’t do it again is a very reasonable response. NTA.
And OP responded:
It’s about her making things up, the wedding dress was just involved since she wanted to use it and I said no.
Smelly_Cat_litter wrote:
NTA and your son should think very hard about marrying a pathological liar. Keep on communicating through text, because this will continue to be a S***storm for the forseeable future.
afgbabygurl7 wrote:
NTA. Hang on tight because there is a fun joy ride coming your way with this DIL. The audacity to ask for someone else's wedding dress that they are keeping for their daughter and then to complain to other people about it? yeah, she is trouble. I have 3 entitled SIL who think they own the world and my family needs to bend over backwards for them.
My mom and siblings did but I didn't want to be a part of that drama so I went no contact. they spread a whole bunch of lies of what my family did to them and the world believed them. Keep all your conversations via text. You sound like a smart woman! Keep a distance to keep your son and your own home happy.
Fit-Profession-1628 wrote:
NTA. She shouldn't apologise expecting to be forgiven. She has broken your trust. You accepted her apology, now she needs to earn back your trust.
Caspian4136 wrote:
NTA. You handled the whole thing as best as you possibly could, not engaging and just screenshotting the proof to everyone so they'd know the truth. She's angry and demanding to be forgiven because she's embarrassed she was caught lying and trying to play the victim.
I think you should talk to your son (talk, not text and not with her around) about why she's trying to drive a wedge between you and the rest of the family. She's playing immature games and that doesn't bode well for anyone.