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'Doting' daughter shamed by parents for not paying their mortgage; 'I kept on refusing.'

'Doting' daughter shamed by parents for not paying their mortgage; 'I kept on refusing.'


How much do we owe our parents? This person was recently asked to pay for their parents' mortage. Their answer: No way.

Iamjustscrolling-_- was feeling guilty for leaving their parents out to dry so to ease their mind they asked Reddit:

AITA (am I the a-hole) for not being able to pay for my parents mortgage?

My parents didn't buy a house when I was younger as my family couldn't afford it, so we lived in a rented house all the time. My dad used to work mostly lowly paid jobs and my mum never really wanted to work.

I moved out of my parents house when I was 18 and started working full time in 2019 and moved in with my boyfriend. My boyfriend had a deposit for a house at the time and asked me to put down my name on the house and mortgage (half the payment). We bought our house in 2020 and it was relatively cheap.

Since I got the house, my parents have been accusing me that I don't help them financially. They kept on persuading me to get a mortgage in my name for them.

I kept on refusing as I didn't want to take on another mortgage in my name and put myself in more debt (that's if the bank even allowed me to have more than one mortgage). Anyway, my parents got the hint that I won't get a mortgage for them.

So, they both decided to work as many hours as they could to qualify for a bigger mortgage. My dad would always call me and guilt trip me that my mum is only working because I wouldn't help them.

To be honest, I felt like even if I applied for the mortgage and somehow got it then I would have to pay for it as well which I clearly couldn't afford. Last year, they saved up enough to put down a deposit for a house. They went and bought a new built, which tend to be more expensive as well.

They moved in the house last month. Since then, my mum decided that she doesn't want to work and keeps on calling to help them to pay for their mortgage. Both of my parents keep on insisting that I should pay at least half of it, which is about £600 a month.

I keep on telling them that with everything going up in price, I barely have anything left at the end of the month and I won't be able to pay. I don't really feel like talking to my parents anymore. They keep on making me feel guilty for their situation. AITA (am I the a-hole) because I can't afford to help them?

So what do our friends on the internet have to say about OP's actions?

Reddit says NTA (not the a-hole):

sneeky_seer says:

NTA - they were clearly able to save up for a downpayment and could get a mortgage on their own. They did everything on their own - while claiming they can’t get a mortgage and buy a house. Now they want to guiltrip you into paying the mortgage they took out because they have some weird idea that they can take advantage of you financially.

ColdstreamCapple writes:

NTA. So your mum waited until the house had settled THEN decides she doesn’t want to work anymore , quit her job and thus suddenly can’t make the mortgage repayments?? I see that more of a “Them” problem than a “You” problem.

residentcaprice offered sage advice:

You should just change your phone number.

pigeon888 points out:

NTA (not the a-hole) - This is a much more complex situation than your parents seem to realise. For example if you got the mortgage then ownership of the house would also need to be in your name. The bank will also consider whether it's your primary residence and will have a lot of questions if not.

Paying for mortgage is then a second point that your parents haven't spoken to you about explicitly. There's lots of complexity here and it could be a serious risk for you.

Reddit didn't have any trouble with this one. This case is certified 'NTA' (not the a-hole).

It can be hard saying 'no' to the people who raised you but is it fair that OP's parents guilt her for not paying for their mortgage?

Sources: Reddit
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