My (M28) wife (F28) and I have two daughters, 6 & 5 years old, which is prime Disney age. They’re both super into princesses and all that. We’ve talked about taking them to Disney over the next few years as we know they’d love it.
My wife has never been before, and I’ve only been once- when I was 10 years old. It was definitely a memorable trip for me as my family had to save up a while for it. We’ve always known that Disney would be our big trip with our girls.
In July, my FIL got diagnosed with prostate cancer. After a few rounds of chemo and some rather intense stays at the hospital, it’s only gotten worse. It’s spread across to other organs in his body, and rather than trying to suffer to fight it, he’s opted to just not do chemo and try to live with what time he has left.
As a result, him and my MIL have decided to make more memories with family. One of these memories is to take our daughters to Disney & surprised them with the trip yesterday during Christmas.
At first, I thought my wife would be against it as well- we’ve always said we’ve wanted to get to experience taking them and seeing their faces. However, I found out that my MIL cleared it with my wife last month.
My wife didn’t tell me because she thought I would be surprised and excited for our daughters. I sat through all of the rest of the night, but when we got home we had a serious discussion about it.
I told my wife that I didn’t want our daughters first trip to Disney to be without us. She suggested we go along, but the trip is in February, and booking flights+hotel+tickets for just my wife and I for the time they’re all going is still going to be almost $5000.
I told my wife that we have to talk to her parents & decline the trip, but my wife is saying that I’m being selfish and heartless by robbing our daughters of this experience & robbing them of a core memory with my FIL before he passes. Am I being out of line here?
Here's what people had to say:
YTA. Your wife is right. I understand your disappointment in not being the first to take your kids to Disney, but these are special circumstance. Their grandfather/your wife's father is dying and wants to create memories with his grandchildren that will last once he is gone.
It's small minded and selfish to take that opportunity away from him and your children just so you can be the first to have the experience with them.
Do you think if you do this your wife and daughter's won't resent you for what you are taking away from them to satisfy your own selfish need. If you do this remember someday your daughter's will be adults and think about how they will look back on this and what they will think about you.
It’s Disney. They will light up every time regardless of being the first trip.
I also think it would be really special for the kids to be almost like your guides the next time they go, so they can show their parents their favorite rides and best ice cream spots and reminisce about time with grandpa.
YTA. Someone is dying man…