Dying man's mom performs religious ritual in hospital; wife bans her from visiting.

My husband has been suffering from health issues for years. They've gotten worse the past 6 months. He's currently in the hospital (5 days now) things don't seem to be getting better and he's on a vent machine.

His mother and I admittedly don't have the best relationship. His condition has severed things between her and I but I keep to myself mostly and make sure to let her have her time with him.

When he first was admitted to the hospital, she tried to go against what I asked her to do. Yesterday, I went home then came back and found out that she poured oil on him. She brought someone from the church and had my husband covered in oil from head to toe (even his hair).

I was livid, I got into an argument with her and she argued that she was just anointing him (I heard they do this when they know the patient is going to die) and said that the hospital approved of it so I was lashing out for no reason. I ended up banning her from the hospital which caused a huge blowup in the family.

They started calling me cruel and said I can't keep his mother away from him, nor do I own him. also said that she's done nothing that would justify me banning her from seeing and visiting her son.

She is pushing to get access again but I refused to let her come.

Comments:

Myalligatormouth says:

I'm a staunch atheist and I'm horrified she would prevent her husband receiving his religious customs and rights, I really don't know what else to say in the face of such blatant, bitter selfishness, she's a horrible a-hole, just... ugh!

MsOstara says:

Ok, but I’ve dated 2 “catholic” men who did not want to be anointed. Just because someone is religious, doesn’t mean they accept every practice in a particular religion.

Dommichu says:

OMG!!! As a Catholic you go through sacraments YOUR ENTIRE LIFE to reach this final one. It’s beyond what you do or not believe in a faith. It’s about a sense of peace you receive when it all comes to this point in your life. Denying him that would have been immensely cruel.

rollergirl77 says:

My mom received the anointing of the sick during her cancer treatments. It was a cross in oil on her forehead. Why was he covered in oil?

Morella_xx says:

It's also a priest who should be doing it. Probably specifically so you don't end up with some idiot pouring a whole bottle of mineral oil on the poor sick person.

CaptainJeff says:

What you are described is likely the Anointing of the Sick. This is a sacrament focused on healing and recovery. It is *not* only for those near death.

It sounds like your husband is religious. If so, he would likely welcome this treatment, even if it is not something you would want. There is also no conceivable (correct me if your doctor told you otherwise) negative impact.

JeSlaa117 says:

She might not be ready to face the thought of him dying now. Them anointing him for death when she's holding hope would be painful. She's still ta, but I can understand a rage from fear response.

This_Grab_452 says:

From the bottom of my atheist heart - YTA. Like it or not, your husband shares his mother’s beliefs. It’s safe to assume he would want this.

throwacc53477r3 from OP:

Edit: My husband is religious, I am not. His mom has always held this against me.