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Family member bans nephew from their future events until mom 'disciplines him.' AITA?

Family member bans nephew from their future events until mom 'disciplines him.' AITA?


You've gotta put your foot down when someone is acting out, regardless of their age or familial status.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, the OP asked if they were wrong for creating a rule that excludes their nephew from any family events they host. They wrote:

"AITA for creating a rule that when I host an event for the family, my sister’s son is not allowed to come?"

I treat my family to dinners out and other events fairly often. My sister Charlotte recently moved closer to me and our parents. Before then I only saw her and my nephew Leo for holidays. I invited Charlotte on a family dinner out and it was an absolute disaster because of Leo. Charlotte called me while she was driving to the restaurant. I could hear Leo yelling in the background.

Charlotte asked Leo to wait a few minutes until she was done calling me and then she would give Leo her phone. She wasn’t doing anything to actually discipline Leo. My nephew’s behavior was no better inside the restaurant. Leo is 8 and yet he was acting like some kind of 2-year-old. He was jumping up and down the booths, yelling to get Charlotte’s attention. He threw bread at another patron’s service dog.

My dad took away the bread after Leo ignored the first warning and Leo threw a tantrum. People were staring at us and I would have been too. Leo’s behavior was completely unacceptable! While all of this was happening, Charlotte just said things like “Oh, Leo, you can play on my phone” and wasn’t doing anything to actually discipline my nephew.

While we were outside leaving and Leo was with his grandparents out of earshot, I told Charlotte that this could never happen again. I told Charlotte that she needs to get Leo under control and until she does, he is not welcome at any events in public that I host for the family.

Charlotte said I was a horrible person for excluding a child and to think about how I would have felt as an 8-year-old to know I wasn’t welcome at family gatherings. If Charlotte doesn’t want to hurt Leo’s feelings then she can not mention the family events I host or actually do something to discipline Leo.

Our parents understandably asked to not get involved in our disagreement. Friends are divided because some are saying Leo shouldn’t even be in restaurants until Charlotte gets him under control and others claim what I described Leo doing was normal kid behavior. AITA?

The internet jumped on with all of their takes.

AnakinSkywalkerisfav wrote:

NTA, you were right to ban him. Even when I was 7 and had undiagnosed (and therefore unmedicated) ADHD, I was better behaved in restaurants. Your friends who said, "Leo shouldn't even be in restaurants until Charlotte gets him under control," are entirely right.

Apart-Ad-6518 wrote:

NTA. Your sister is being TA to her son though. He needs appropriate guidance on how to behave. He may be neurodivergent and or be struggling because he missed out on socialization milestones because of the pandemic. As a mental health professional, I and colleagues are seeing that the full effects of that on young people is only just beginning to manifest, let alone be fully understood.

HoshiJones wrote:

Your sister is doing Leo no favors by not disciplining him. He's going to be universally disliked; it's already starting, he's already unwelcome at family gatherings.

NTA. This is absolutely not normal behavior.

PsychologicalBit5422 wrote:

Ask friends who think his behaviour is normal if they know the difference between an 8 yr old and a 2 yr old. Discipline and taught boundaries . My son never acted like that at 2 let alone 8.

OP is clearly NTA here, their sister is majorly slacking on parenting.

Sources: Reddit
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