'My family threatened to cut me off if I turn off my Ring camera and stop sharing location.'
"I haven’t talked to my family in two days and don’t know to move past this."
I (25f) have just felt off with my family since around October. It all started when my sisters (22,15 at the time) on a trip to Florida. The trip was around my birthday so I also kinda considered it to be a little birthday trip for myself. Anyways my youngest sister was just really emotional the entire time and said that I was controlling everything she did.
She had just been recently diagnosed with pcos and insulin resistance and had to change her diet so every once and awhile I’d ask her if that would be the best time to be eating/drinking. On the last day I called my mom and just broke down saying that I felt like all the blame was being put on me and I felt left out and isolated.
In return my mom told me that is just karma for ruining everyone else’s birthdays and past vacations and that my sister is 15 and is just hormonal. Later that same night I told her that we needed to be up at 5am and it would be a good idea to get some sleep, it was midnight, and she told me to stop telling her what to do.
So I asked my mom told talk to her. In return I had my dad call me telling me to grow up and that I need to stop causing problems. After that incident I kinda stopped talking to them, but it only last about a day before they acted like nothing was wrong. The next weekend was my birthday so I went home to spend time with family for my birthday.
Everything has just been off since then. I don’t really feel welcome when I go home, I live almost two hours away so I will go spend the weekends when I do. This past weekend kind of just put the nail on the coffin.
I went home and the first thing was said to me by my sister was to stop reposting about the current political issue right now, my mom then told me “I own a business and that’s not a good look”, we all share the same political beliefs. I went through my reposts and there was one in the last month.
My mom then told me that my face looks like pepperoni, and I told her I was struggling with my anxiety this week and I picked my face really bad one day because of it. She proceeded to ask me why my anxiety was bad and I honestly cannot give a reason, so I said something about my period starting a day early, her spines being “whys that are you sleeping with boys and not telling me about it”.
My sister than went on to start teasing me, because my family went out for my other sisters birthday without me and I was upset, and telling me that they went out for my dads birthday dinner without me too. She also got my other sister involved.
I asked her to stop and my mom said that I was being too emotional and dramatic. Little comments went on like this all weekend, so I eventually would just go and sit in my room and watch Netflix or something else.
On Sunday night my mom came down to my room told me that they weren’t doing anything for dinner and I could just leave. I told her why I was upset, and her response back was that all I do is lie and no one can trust me, and that I’m such a negative person and when I’m not there they are so happy and enjoy themselves during the week, but the second I come home it’s just negativity.
She has also told me that I will never find a man because I just exude negative energy and people around me can feel it and don’t want to be around me. So I told her that what she says isn’t nice, and other people in the family have told me that too.
I then started to pack my stuff, and my dad started to yell at me just telling me that I needed to go apologize and that I ruined his birthday and that I’m a mean person and that I bully the family. I don’t know if that was him reacting because I called him out for bad mouthing her too, but it just laid into me. I left, turned off my location, and when I got back to my apartment I turned off my ring camera.
My mom got extremely mad that I did that and just started spam texting and calling me. I turned off my camera because I have gotten countless texts over the last two years of me living in my apartment of her asking where I’m going or what I’m doing, and at 25 I need more privacy and independence.
So I don’t know what to do or how to move forward but I feel like I need more space and I don’t really want to reach right now, but I know that I’m going to have to be the one to probably. I also know that every story has two sides and I’m not denying that I probably wasn’t the most pleasant but when I get talked to like that idk how to be all happy and cheerful. Sorry if this is confusing just trying to get my feelings out there.
This is what people had to say to OP:
myfamilyisfunnier said:
Neither side is benefiting from this relationship. The price of a phone plan will be worth your growth. There will be struggle, it's adulthood. Time to move on. Stay friendly with your family, but back away.
Lov3I5Treacherous said:
Your family doesn't like you. Get your own phone plan. "I am removing myself and my "negativity" from the family." Then don't talk to them. Sure, maybe you're bossy, but maybe your family should communicate with you and then move on. Sounds like they like to beat a dead horse, huh? My family was a bunch of bullies, and I didn't talk to them for several years. Guess what, everyone's nice now.
Ok_8890 said:
You are 25 and your parents have access to your ring camera?? Time for some boundaries. And yes get your own phone plan
Sad_Caregiver2688 said:
…I think it’s time to go LC or NC. And get your own phone plan.
And lsp2005 said:
1.) Get your own phone plan
2.) Turn the ring on and remove their access
3.) Therapy for yourself
4.) Your acne may be stress induced.
5.) Your family dynamic is extremely unhealthy. You don’t need to parent your siblings, your parents triangulated and scape goat you. It would be wise for now to go low contact with them and get therapy for you to understand what is really happening.