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Family tradition leads to unequal inheritance; daughters get 1%; brother gets the rest. AITA?

Family tradition leads to unequal inheritance; daughters get 1%; brother gets the rest. AITA?


"AITA because I left without saying goodbye after finding out about inheritance?"


Aita here? I was visiting my dad and siblings in another country for the holidays and I didn’t say goodbye to my father or brother (and his family) after discovering they worked together to sign everything over to my brother and giving me and my two sisters 1% of father’s assets.

I was visiting family with my husband and children after not having seen them in almost 2 years. The day before we were scheduled to leave, I had a sit down with my elderly father to discuss his plans for his estate after passing.

This estate (built my him and my mother before she passed four years ago) consists of 8 figures worth of commercial and residential property. He said he would give me and my sisters some cash (1% of what the properties are worth) and give everything else to my brother since it’s “tradition” (we are from a middle eastern background.)

My brother did work in the family business since college and has also benefited greatly from it (living in multimillion dollar home etc). The biggest part of the portfolio (a strip mall) was because the previous owner was a friend of mine who was selling it and decided to sell to my family because of our friendship.

My sisters and I who are older than our brother worked alongside our parents during the building of their businesses and during lean times. We did the grunt work as preteens and teens. Additionally we did a lot of the care giving for our mother when she was suffering from a terminal illness that robbed her of all of her body’s ability.

I am shocked and dismayed to say the very least. I understand my brother helped in running the businesses but he did more management etc not anything customer facing or manual labor the way my sisters and I did. I understand that no one is owed an inheritance but this is beyond the pale. We have been good daughters.

Because I was so upset, I packed up my kids and bags and left without saying goodbye or anything. My dad got upset that I “left without saying bye to my father.”

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


NTA. Daddy dearest can get his love and respect from his son.

If he doesn't owe you anything, you owe him the same.


NTA and I really hope you stand your ground and don’t do the traditional “daughters take care of the parents as they age” thing- your brother can do that now.


NTA. It's sexism, pure and simple. I would have said, 'you've already disowned me in your will. Let's make it official.'


NTA. It is ok to feel hurt and betrayed. Forgive them for your peace of mind, but don't forget. Don't go out of your way to further help your dad/ brother or spend time with them. You and your sisters should make a bonding time together yearly or whenever you can. Do something in honor of your mom. Leave the misogynistic a$$holes out of your life. I wish you the best.


NTA… in most middle eastern families (Islamic ones to be more accurate) it’s common to split more to the son than the daughter only because the son will have to care for his family while the daughter gets half of the brother but that money becomes only hers and the daughters husband would presumably get his inheritance which would be bigger than his sister so it evens out in a sense.

So like the son should get 50 and the daughters 25 each. But your dad is ridiculous for doing what he did. Honestly I’d recommend you call him and tell him to give your 1% to your brother and consider your relationship done and if he needs anything to contact his dear son.


NTA, he has shown you what you and your sisters really mean to him. You should respond by only putting 1% effort into your relationship by going low contact.

But before that let him know all the help you gave him as a daughter, compared to your brother, and how he couldn’t even honor that properly. Also do your brother and other sister know? What do they think of the situation?


I can't fault you. He's telling you he doesn't value you much because you have girl parts. Your labor, your caring, your support, your love, none of that matters as much as tradition. Personally I find it disgusting. NTA.


Tell dad he has his son as family now that you and the sisters have been told you are all not worth taking care of. There is no need for pleasantries at this point now that he told you that you are not worth taking care of after he dies, only sonny boy. Keep the grand kids away and let him exactly why!


NTA. But you also hadn’t even seen him in 2 years. So why would you think you’re entitled to or getting a large portion of an inheritance is beyond me.

So, do you think the OP has a right to be upset or is it unfair to expect anything in the will?

Sources: Reddit
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