Me (25M), my brother Jack (27M) and his wife Jill (25F). It all started when Jack and Jill got pregnant. Their lease almost ended and my parents invited them to stay at our house. The day they came, Jack asked me why I haven't moved out of my room yet.
I was confused, like wtf, and he told me that he and Jill will be at my room and I go to guest room. I refused, but my parents got mad, we got into a fight, I lost and ended in much smaller guest room.
Then Jill had a problem with my cooking. I eat scrambled eggs with mozzarella and avocado every day for breakfast and she couldn't stand the smell. She asked me to stop, I refused, my parents got involved, I had to stop.
There were problems with other food too, and I had to stop cooking them. I was told I must be more accommodating cause she pregnant. Like that is my problem. Then Jill started to boss me around.
We were alone for 8 hours while my parents and Jack worked. She obviously thought I would be her personal maid. I refused, she threw a temper tantrum, like always, and I again had big fight with Jack and my parents. I was told that she had a high risk pregnancy and was on bed rest, and I'm an a**hole for not helping her.
I told Jack that he knocked her up, it's his responsibility. I stood my ground and in the end Jill's cousin came to help her sometimes.
Than Jill gave birth to my nephew. I congratulated them when they came home, and that is it. I don't like babies, so I mostly keep for myself now. But that doesn't stop Jill to ask for favors. Please watch the baby while a take quick shower, please watch it while I make myself some food, etc. I always refuse and we all have new fights over and over again.
It all came to head last Friday when she asked me to watch my nephew while she goes to pharmacy for baby formula. I refused. She got mad and we had a fight. She grabbed her purse to go anyway and I told her, that the moment she walks out that door I will call the police for child abandonment.
I was serious and she knew it. She broke down and screamed what a horrible human being I am, then she ran to her room. She had complete mental breakdown.
When Jack and my parents came home we had the biggest fight yet. Jack accused me of hating Jill and my nephew, among other things. I told him I refuse to bond because they will weaponize him against me. My parents told me enough is enough. That they can't believe they raised such a selfish human being. And that either I help or I move out
I'm thinking of second option. AITA?
I work from home and pay 50% of all household expenses, including mortgage. Jack and Jill don't contribute anything for expenses.
I wanted to stay home and take care of my parents when they are old. I will never have a partner and children, because reasons, so taking care of my parents was the plan. The moment I move out they will have problems paying for mortgage and all other expenses. Entitled princess will probably have to go back to work.
The moment I move out our relationship will end. Its easier said than done. I don't think even my parents expect me to actually do it. I just contribute. Nothing is in my name.
My parents are caught in crossfire between my and my brother. We had very close relationship before Jack and Jill moved in. They probably think that, because of our closeness, they can put more pressure on me. They would be very, very shocked if I would move out. I will have to have a serious talk with them. I don't think they understand how close to explode am I.
If I move out, that would be ultimate f*ck you move to them I don't think our relationship would recover from that. This is why I hesitate. I don't want to lose them. It would be devastating to me and them.
Jack makes just enough for their expenses and the baby. Jill doesn't work.
Dude, you're gonna spend your life providing for your parents and paying half their mortgage only for them to die and leave the house to your brother because 'he has a family so he needs it more' and then find yourself evicted by said brother because 'his family needs the space'.
Stop putting your money into something that isn't yours and maybe look into some sessions with a therapist to help you work through the feelings that have you willing to live in complete discomfort for the sake of maintaining a one sided relationship with your family. And do not doubt that it is one sided, you're setting yourself on fire to keep them warm.
This sounds like a super s**tty situation in general. So based on OP's response, Jill just doesn't want to parent her child all day. They pay nothing toward the house, and treat OP like s**t. In your shoes, OP, I might, maybe, sometimes watch the kid while a parent grabs a shower.
I would not, however, be free in-house babysitting under any circumstances barring a genuine emergency. They way they seem to treat you though, I can't say I'd blame you if you just refuse outright. As long as this has been made clear to everyone, NTA.