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Man wants money to babysit own kids while wife goes out. ‘We've been arguing.’

Man wants money to babysit own kids while wife goes out. ‘We've been arguing.’


Husband and wife arrangements get more and more modern by the day. On one corner of the internet, a husband has watched as his wife gets closer and closer with the neighbor. Now, he wants compensation for facilitating some of the logistics of their new friendship. He writes:

AITA for wanting to be paid for babysitting my own daughter?

My (39M) wife (34F) and I live in at a suburban house with our daughter (10F, Emily). Our neighbour next door (48M, Walter) is a single father with two daughters (14F and 12F). We have been living here for a little more than two years.

My wife really likes watching scary movies but I have never enjoyed them. I get too scared and end up having a bad time, so I prefer to avoid them. Her friends sometimes go with her to the more popular ones but she also likes older, indies and foreign horror movies.

She has always had a hard time finding people that have this niche interest and that is why it was such a big deal when we met Walter and found out he also shares this tendency.

They very quickly started to make plans to watch movies together. I was invited to be a part of this but refused.

I prefer to just stay at home babysitting Emily and Walter's daughter while they are in their cinephile reunions. Sometimes they go to movie theaters but other times they just stay at Walter's place watching stuff at his home cinema.

They usually have to go to another town in order to catch a specific function of some weird movie so it is normal for them to come back very late.

They eventually started doing stuff outside of watching movies, like going out for dinner. Walter invited all of us, including the kids, to go with him to a restaurant that a friend of his owned, but I said no because it was too expensive.

I don't like those kind of places because I feel they are a waste of money and didn't think the kids would enjoy it either. I insisted on staying with the kids and letting the two of them go by themselves.

This has became a regular thing and it is in a way a good deal for me because Walter pays for my wife's dinner and she can no longer complain about me not taking her to fancy restaurants.

As both their movie and dinner nights had became so common, I have grown a little tired of the burden of constantly babysitting the girls. I talk to my wife and Walter about it and he explained that he usually does not like leaving his daughters with babysitters.

He says he is really comfortable knowing that they are being watched by an experienced father like me, instead of some teenage girl. He nevertheless agreed that it was too much of a load for me and offered to start paying me a standard babysitter fee each time he goes out with my wife.

I thought that was a fair approach to the issue but my wife was fully against it. She says I should not be paid for babysitting my own daughter, nor the daughters of a close friend of our family like Walter. We have been arguing about this but she insists on this notion and it not open to change.

She even gets mad every time I talk to her about this. Walter promised me that he will convince her but he does not seem to have been able to do so either.

Am I the Asshole?

Understandably, the spectators in the comments are a little confused. They're also a bit shocked.

Primary-Criticism929 writes:

YTA for several reasons, two of which are calling taking care of your own kid 'babysitting' and not really caring about your marriage.

Don't be surprised if your wife ends up leaving you for Walter, if they're not already having an affair...

Sarpon6 writes:

Your wife is dating your neighbor and you think he should pay you?

OkDragonfruit9943 writes:

YTA For basically outsourcing your wife to the neighbour, you don't like scary movies ok, but to then say that its great that another man is taking your wife to what is basically dates so you don't have to?

The answer is to try to engage in your wife's interests and find stuff you two can do together, not to start taking a salary to watch the kids.

Elfishpreslley writes:

YTA, it’s not babysitting it’s being a parent.

Also, are you aware you’re pushing your wife into the arms of another man?

And idcpicksmn roasts:


Whether, or not you should get paid for babysitting is entirely between you, and your wife's boyfriend.

We'll hope for an update.

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