Woman kicks sister out over rude comments about husband's deceased first wife. AITA?

'I recently kicked my sister out of our home for the way she reacted to a photo of my husband & his first wife. AITA?'

I met him a few months after she died in a car accident, got married 2 years after that. We've been together 6 years. He was devastated when she died. I told him I never expected to 'replace' her in any way & considered myself another chapter in his life. I was warmly accepted into the family and his circle of friends.

My sister recently she fell on hard times - lost her job, apartment, and so on. We took her in. My husband has always had a home office. My sister was poking around the house when he was out, and discovered a photo of him & his first wife among the framed pictures he has.

It's not their wedding photo or anything, just a typical cute couple photo. It's the only printed photo of her in the house, taken a few months before her accident. They didn't have kids, so pics are all he has. There are a lot more photos of us.

I was reading on the couch when my sister came stomping into the room, holding the framed photo. She angrily asked 'Why do you let him keep a photo of his ex in your house?'

I replied: 'First, it's our house, & second she's not an ex. She died in an accident and was his wife for 8 years. She was a huge part of his life. He keeps that one photo out.'

She replied 'An ex is anyone you've slept with who's not in the picture anymore.'

Me: 'No, that's not how it works. She died.'

Sis: 'Doesn't matter. So what if she got pasted by a truck, an ex is an ex. You shouldn't be letting him keep any pictures.'

Me: 'You're being extremely disrespectful to me & my husband right now. You're a guest in this house. Walk back those comments & apologize, now.'

Sis: 'Why should I apologize? How can you let him keep pictures of an ex-f***toy?'

I never knew his first wife, but I know how much she meant to him. I know how much he loves me. My sister talking about her like that insulted him, & by extension me - not to mention how disrespectful she was being to a poor woman who died young.

I said: 'Get your crap and leave.'

I didn't care that it was November in MN, or that she didn't have anywhere else to go, or any money. She had been beyond disrespectful to me and my husband, over a single small photo.

Me: 'If you're worried about sleeping in your car this winter, you should've thought of that before insulting the people sheltering you.'

I made sure she was gone before my husband even got home. He was shocked when I told him what'd happened, since he'd always had a polite-neutral relationship with her. He thanked me for having his back.

I got a call from my mom, telling me it was my responsibility to take care of my sister. I laughed and hung up.

I've been asked by a few people how I could basically destroy my relationship with my sister over this, and have replied that she was the one who did so. AITA for how I handled this?

Comments:

Diamond_Flame_OR_Dia says:

NTA. You didn't kick her out over a photo. You kicked her out for being disrespectful, rude, and absolutely inconsiderate. You're right about your husband's late wife, she's not an 'ex' and nor is she a 'f***ktoy'. She was your husband's wife. To say that she was a 'f***toy' was just purely disrespectful to the poor woman's memory.

Zupergreen says:

I know someone who's husband and their two kids died in an accident. She was understandably grieving hard for a good while, but then one day she met this guy and love just happened.

They are now married and have a son. In their living room is a shelf with pictures of her first husband and their kids along with candles and their favourite trinkets.

She tells her son about his big sister and brother and talks about her first husband on a regular basis. And no-one has ever called it disrespectful towards her current husband, because that's an insane and downright cruel thing to do.

Uharugger says:

If it's anything like my family growing up, the oldest was responsible for their younger sibling. It was 'my job' to protect my sibling, among other things. Unsurprisingly, I cut my parents off and disinherited them. I still speak with my sibling but I'm not their keeper.

Longjumpinsddfsdffg says:

NTA and honestly so happy that you stuck up for your husbands first wife the way you did.

MbMinx says:

NTA! Your sister is, though. To start with, she's 'poking around your house' which is rude out of the gate. Then she has the nerve to be offended by a picture that is literally none of her business! And she has to double down to be even more of a rude, insensitive AH.