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'I removed all my pre-weight loss pictures from my mom's house and now I'm banned.'

'I removed all my pre-weight loss pictures from my mom's house and now I'm banned.'


I (21F) have struggled with my weight my entire life. I’m not talking about baby weight. I mean that I was 200 lbs at 5’1’’ when I was 16. For as long as I could remember, I felt uncomfortable in my own body. When I went to college, I decided it was time to change. It took years of grueling work/education, but I’m finally at a healthy weight. I’m terrified of going back.

The only problem is that my mom (55F) has tons of family photos around the house. Every time I go home, I’m reminded of the most emotionally difficult time of my life. I begged my mom to at least take down the photos that only have me in them, but she refused.

I decided to take matters into my own hands. Every time I came to visit, I gradually put stickers over my face in family pictures. She didn’t notice, so I decided to take it up a notch.

I scanned the original pictures with my phone. I paid one of my friends to photoshop them afterward. They were pretty obvious, but I was hoping nobody would notice at a glance. After the swap, I took the originals to my apartment. I got away with this two times, but I got caught in the act with the third.

My mom and I got into a huge argument about it. She said that I had no right to take those photos, or “vandalize” the others, because it wasn’t my house. I pointed out that I only took my photos and only put removable stickers on the others. She was still furious. I’m banned from the house until I give the originals back.

The rest of my family has been pressuring me to give in, because Thanksgiving is coming up. I refuse to do so, because I don’t think I’m in the wrong here. AITA?


I have a suspicion that my mom wouldn’t remove those photos for a deeper reason. She is obese, and I think she might be resentful of my weight loss. Ever since I lost the weight, she calls me vain a lot.

One time, we were sitting for dinner with my aunt. My aunt and I were discussing my weight loss, and my mom suddenly chimed in, “Ok, I think that enough time spent stroking your ego”.

Another time, she insisted on giving me a coat that was 3 times too big. When I said no, she asked if I thought I was too good for it.

I’m not ashamed of my past self, and I don’t hate my past self. I don’t like those pictures because they remind me of the constant, physical pain I was in at that weight. When I see them, it feels like reliving it all over again.

Eastern_Fox5735 says:

YTA. This really is not a healthy level of fixation on your past weight. You're literally committing thefts to try to remove these memories.

Please see a therapist to work through your feelings about this in a healthy manner. This long, complex, and extended campaign to erase your past self instead of coming to peace with it is not healthy. Your mom is allowed to have pictures of you when you were younger.

SilverWehrwulf Says:

Theft and vandalism. YTA - not your house. Not your property.

JustOne_Girl says:

Yup. I lost a lot of weight, and every time I go to my mom's place, and people see the pictures from before and how I became they congratulate me. I'm not ashamed of those pics

SocietyIsAToilet says:

Seriously. OP stole mom’s sh*t because she didn’t like how she looked. Now she wants to excuse her thefts on her mom’s supposed weight insecurity.

AITAremovingpictures update from OP:

I’m going to take some of the advice given here. I’m going to go ahead and burn the pictures I have, and give my mom an ultimatum between me and my solo pictures. If she chooses the pictures over me, that says more about her than me. I accept if this, and my past actions, makes me the a**hole.

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