Me (f29) and my husband Rick (m35) have been married for a year. Rick's niece Anna (f23) is terminal.
We've been planning to go to France early next year, and we've already decided on flights, hotel, etc. Nothing has been booked yet thought, because of what Rick wants, and this is causing issues between us.
My SIL (Anna's mom) and her family are going to Fairbanks around that time because Anna wants to try and see the northern lights. SIL asked if we want to join them, and in Rick's words we can go to France 'another time'.
I said no. I understand him, but we've pretty much planned out our France trip. Rick is insisting that he 'needs' to go. I got a little upset and replied he can if he wants, but I won't be joining him and I'll go to France with my family instead.
He's been sulking and mad at me. I think he's the one being unreasonable here. AITA for telling my husband he can go on a trip with his sister on his own, if he wants to cancel our trip to join theirs??
Questions, answers and comments:
Proof_Bad8128 asks:
Info are the days they are going to the northern lights exactly on the same day your going to France, because if there not you could do both?
aita_vacation says:
No it's not exactly the same, but Rick doesn't want to come back and go again immediately. I did bring this up that we could possibly do both, but he said it'll cost too much, and he'll need to take more time off work at once.
apathetic_acorn says:
YTA. His niece is terminally ill, which - unless I’m mistaken - means she is going to die pretty soon. You have not booked your holiday, as you’ve said. You have chosen what you want but nothing is paid for.
So then your SIL tells your husband that they want to give Anna a make a wish style situation by giving her the chance to see the northern lights. And your response, instead of being supportive, is “GO ON YOU OWN”?
WTF is wrong with you. Get your head out of your backside. His family member is dying. If you do decide to go to France, stay there.
svoigt11 says:
So many red flags with her attitude. Thankfully they’ve only been married for a year - this would definitely make me rethink the marriage for sure.
Higgledypiggle says:
YTA. Options for husband doing this trip in the future with niece = 0. Options for you taking a trip to France with husband in future = countless. Disturbing that you need to ask this frankly.
chriswillar says:
'He's been sulking and mad at me. I think he's the one being unreasonable here.'
You're the one sulking, being mad and unreasonable. His niece is DYING, and you haven't even booked anything yet, i.e. no loss of money. Have the kindness to fulfill their wishes. YTA
CoxBJT says:
YTA. Good for you showing your true colors early on. That makes it easier for him to divorce you. While he probably won’t feel it yet, these types of horrible losses help a person determine who is really on their team.