Light sleeping GF says she can't share bed, tells BF 'you're ruining my mental health.'
AITA for wanting my gf to sleep in the same bed as me?
My gf of a year and I recently moved in together. We are like two peas in a pod, very similar and we like the same things, think about things in the same way, similar life goals so I joke it’s like dating my clone. It’s really nice since we never fight because we generally agree on everything. It’s been great.
Biggest problem though is she doesn’t like me sleep with me. We have sex regularly but she hates sleeping in the same bed. She is a very light sleeper and any turning, snoring, getting up on my part wakes her up. And then she claims she can’t get back to sleep and spends the whole night awake.
She recently proposed we sleep in separate beds in the same room. But our new apartment has tiny rooms so she can’t move another bed into the same room. She says she wants to sleep in the other room and maybe move to a place with a larger room next time but I don’t want that.
My parents have a very unhappy marriage and they sleep in separate rooms because they hate each other. I know we aren’t doing it for the same reasons but it brings back unpleasant memories and I would want my partner to sleep in the same bed. But I’ve told her that and she claims I’m being selfish for ruining her sleep because of my issues.
She says it’s ruining her mental health and she’s preforming worse at work. But I’d rather we try other methods before she just decides she needs to sleep in a different room like melatonin which she claims doesn’t work on her.
Info from OP:
She said she didn’t sleep well with ex bfs and when she stayed over. I convinced her to give it a shot when we first moved in together. It’s been 2 months and she is now demanding to sleep in her own bed.
Melatonin might make her be able to go back to sleep after she wakes up. She also has a hard time falling asleep.
Here's what people had to say:
Partassipant [4]
YTA.
Her physical and mental health come first. You're ignoring her wellbeing.
·2 hr. agoPartassipant [1]
I'm a light sleeper, too, and have a very hard time getting to sleep. When I've shared a bed, I know going into it I'm not going to get much if any sleep. Once I grabbed a blanket and pillow and slept in the bathtub because my bedmate was too restless and snored. Forcing the gf to endure this nightly is a great way to build resentment.
I suppose they could get one of those old timey bed divider things that they used to use to keep the couples apart before marriage.
