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Man abandoned by mom, she shows up five years later to 'explain,' he refuses to hear it.

Man abandoned by mom, she shows up five years later to 'explain,' he refuses to hear it.


Dealing with people who only want life to function on their own terms can be supremely exhausting, especially if they're your own parents.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for not giving his mom a "real" chance to talk to him after years of estrangement. He wrote:

"AITA for not getting off my horse and walking away when my mom tried to talk to me?"

My (21m) mom and I have a less-than-stellar relationship. My parents are divorced, and I lived with her until I was 16. A couple of months before I turned 16, she started dating a guy, and he didn't like me at all. I always had to hear him elsewhere when he came around. Shortly after my 16th birthday, my mom told me I was going to spend the weekend on my uncle's farm.

So I went and it was pretty fun. She didn't show up the day she was supposed to pick me up, so I called her, and she told me I was staying with my uncle permanently. When I told him, he was pissed, rightfully so. We both tried calling her, but she didn't answer. We did everything we could think of to get a hold of her, but we couldn't. The last time I saw her was a week later when she dropped off my clothes.

My uncle is technically not my uncle. He's just a family friend, but he's the closest thing I've had as a parent for the last 5 years. (My dad and I aren't close. Apparently, his house was too full for me when my mom left). Honestly, a big part of me is glad this happened. Shortly after I moved in, I got my own horse.

She's a Clydesdale named Mary(6f) and she's my best friend. I've been working on the ranch with my uncle since I graduated and I'm really liking it. I feel at peace. Anyway, my mom showed up to the ranch today, I had just got on Mary. It was funny, she didn't recognize me at first. She came up to me and asked if I'd dismount. I didn't.

She told me this story about how she moved across the country with her ex because she thought she'd be happy with him then she told me that things didn't work out so she found a place. Then she basically demanded I "come home." I sarcastically said "sure" and I got Mary to start walking. That set her off.

She started after me and started ranting about how I needed to live a "normal life" and that I had to find a girlfriend and not ride horses all day. I stopped and said "as far as you're concerned, this horse is my girlfriend," and that set her off even more. My uncle caught wind of what was happening and he came over and asked her to leave. She shouted "I'm not leaving without my son!"

My uncle told her to leave again and threatened to call the cops if she didn't and that got her to leave. The reason I'm making this post is because my dad just sent me this long text about how my mom misses me and how she only wants what's best for me. He then went on to say that I should give her a chance instead of threatening to call the cops.

He ended the text by saying I was an AH for not even getting off my horse to speak with her. AITA for walking away when my mom tried to talk to me?

The internet had a lot of opinions about the situation.

DisgruntleFairy wrote:

NTA - She abandoned you and then showed up 5 years later and just assumed you would go with her. That's not how things work. She made a choice and that choice had consequences.

Additionally, unless you forgot to include it she didn't even appologize! As for your dad. He wasn't involved when you needed him so he doesnt get to be involved now. Given your statements...did you recently come out? Or maybe your Mom recently found out you're not hetero?

OP responded:

Nope, I'm straight. I said what I said because I thought it would piss her off and it did.

True-End6765 wrote:

NTA first and foremost. But also the absolute cojones on your dad to get involved in all this blows my mind. Both your parents are desperately lacking in the self-awareness department. Kudos for falling far from the family tree on that.

OldGreyTroll wrote:

NTA - And the first part of the story makes me so sad. It is just like the unwanted pets who get disappeared with the cover story that they got moved to a farm where they will have space and other animals to play with and be happy.

GhostofaPhoenix wrote:

NTA - mom is delulu thinking she can waltz back into your life and demand things. Dad has no room to offer "advice" and needs to stay in the lane he made himself all these years. Neither has an opinion worth stressing over. Your uncle is awesome and a blessing.

The image of you sitting on a Clydesdale gave me that old cowboy feel of one hand leaning on your knee, basically telling your ma to F off while looking down on her. I don't blame you for not getting down. You had a height advantage and a horse that says get out of my way if you needed it. I love Clydesdales, magnificent horses.

OP is definitely NTA here, but both his parents are giant ones.

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