Someecards Logo
Man cuts off ex's children over money after she dies; says they 'kneecapped me.'

Man cuts off ex's children over money after she dies; says they 'kneecapped me.'


AITA for disinviting my late wife's children from my wedding?

About a year ago, my wife (Anna, 60F) of 25 years passed away, 8 months after being diagnosed with cancer. Besides our 25 year old son (Andrew), she also had 3 other children (Allison 42F, Barbara 40F, Caleb 39M) from a prior marriage. Their father was never really around, so I (52M) have raised them as my own basically ever since I married their mom.

Anna's cancer was very difficult for me financially, and I wound up having to downgrade my car to pay for medical bills, and make withdrawals from my 401k, and take on a lot of debt. Shortly after Anna died, I met another woman, Beth (49F) who I have since married. Given that we're living together in Beth's house, selling Anna's house made a lot of sense.

When we were packing up the house, I asked Anna's kids if they wanted anything, and they said they didn't.

I invested a large amount of money renovating the house and getting it ready to sell, and eventually found a house-flipping company that would take it on.

On the day of the closing, I was surprised to find out that Allison had sent an email to the lending company, telling them that she had been reading up on state law, and that since Anna's kids weren't mine, they were entitled to the portion she would have gotten from the sale. Turns out she was right.

I feel like Anna's children deliberately chose to kneecap me, but they're insistent that Allison didn't know what was going on and was just asking questions.

I should have been able to take the money Anna and I had saved up and start a new life, but now I'm probably going to have to sell the new motorcycle I just bought and have long wanted, and I'm not going to be able to get myself out of debt.

This was supposed to be a fresh start for me, and now I'm stuck with the same old problems I've always had.

The day of the eventual closing I was still extremely upset, so when I woke up for work, I texted Allison, Barbara, and Caleb and let them know that I'd also been doing my own reading about our state's laws, and it turns out I'm not actually their father, and they should work on their relationship with the person who actually is. I also told them they were no longer welcome at my wedding, which was the next weekend.

Upon finding out I had said that, Andrew was extremely upset with me. We met for lunch the following day, and I asked him to be my Best Man, but he told me that unless I apologized to his siblings, he didn't want to attend my wedding.

I was hoping he'd get over it, but he hasn't talked to me since, saying that he's too old to be a 25 year old child of divorce, and that he was offended that I got married the weekend after the anniversary of his mom's funeral. To me, that date isn't particularly meaningful since the date that weighs on my heart is the one that she actually died.

Beth thinks I should just swallow my pride and apologize so that Andrew will talk to me again, but I can't help but feel hard done by here.

Here's how people judged OP:

amandawhiskey writes:

Info: So you cutout your step kids over money? Am I reading this right?

nuke_euler OP responded:

It wasn't about money. Do you know how embarrassing it is, on the day of closing, to get an email from the real estate company telling me that we couldn't go through with the sale because some lady named Allison said something? To have them look at me like I was trying to pull a fast one?

bhejda writes:

And if the law didn't 'force' you to give money to the kids, you would happily just keep everything for yourself? Didn't it occur to you, that it would be wrong to keep the kids completely without any money?

nuke_euler OP responded:

No. When parents live in a residence for 20 years, and one passes, most know that the surviving spouse will use that to help secure whatever comes next in life.

jenfish6 writes:

So you were aware your wife was ill and still didn't create wills.

nuke_euler OP responded:

What was I supposed to do, hold her down and physically make her write a will? She didn't want to.

makingburritos writes:

If that’s the law Andrew wouldn’t be getting anything then..? Andrew isn’t included in that number.

nuke_euler OP responded:

So the law is apparently sort of weird. If all of her children were by me, I would have gotten everything. But because she had at least one child by someone else, her half of the estate is divided evenly between her children. At least that's how it was told to me.

Ad_Vomitus writes:

I have a question: if you were to die tomorrow, would all the kids be recipients in your will, or just Andrew?

nuke_euler OP responded:

As of right now, I don't have a will, but if I did it certainly would just be Andrew.

vikingboogers writes:

So when exactly did you get the motorcycle? Because you said it was new... YTA anyways tho

nuke_euler OP responded:

It was basically the first thing I did after Anna died, since she'd never have let me have one.

vikingboogers writes:

So you thought with all your debt that a new motorcycle was a good idea?

nuke_euler OP responded:

Well, I wasn't planning to have all that debt. It would have been manageable if I'd gotten the money from the sale of the house

A-typ-self writes:

Did you discuss this with a lawyer and find out if you can take out what you invested in the home getting ot ready to sell before the proceeds are split?

nuke_euler OP responded:

Nah, I'm just ready to be done with them.

AnyAcadia6945 writes:

Wow, YTA a million times over. You are so petty for telling them you aren’t their father anymore when YOU raised them. They were entitled to that money just as you are, and it doesn’t sound like they tried to do it maliciously.

Nice job ruining those relationships for the rest of your life. I hope you come to thoroughly regret it.

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

Featured Content