Man keeps nephew's Christmas present after nephew and brother say he's not 'a real adult.'

There's nothing quite as petty and stressful as adults fighting over how they should be treated by a kid.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for not giving his nephew a Christmas present after a fight with his brother. He wrote:

"AITA for agreeing with my brother that his son does not have to treat me with the respect due an elder?"​​​​​​

I 28, am a lot younger than my siblings. My youngest brother is 40. He has a 16-year-old son that he has pretty much ignored his whole life. He divorced his ex and quit his job to go see the world when my nephew was 4 and I was 16. His ex stayed in our lives and we have all helped out where we can. My brother is currently in town for a while. We decided to do an early Christmas so he could be a part of it.

Except he has been acting like an AH. In my culture, it is common to refer to your elders as sir or ma'am. My brother heard my nephew refer to me a sir and brayed out that he doesn't need to treat me with respect. I'm barely old enough to dress myself. Blah blah. I told him to stfu and not insert himself into conversations that don't concern him. He said that if his son is in it then it concerns him.

He kept at it all afternoon. Everyone told him to knock it off but he would not. After dinner, my nephew started calling me by my name. I told him that we are in public and I expect him to treat me with respect. He said that his father says he doesn't have to so I asked him if that was who he listened to now. He said yes. I agreed with them that he doesn't have to treat me as an elder.

When it came time to open gifts I left what I had bought my nephew in my car. We all exchanged gifts and it was a good evening. My nephew was kind of disappointed that he didn't get any big gifts this year. My brother was at my house yesterday and noticed that I had a new toy. I decided to keep the handheld computer I had gotten my nephew for myself. It's pretty cool.

It's a full Windows computer but the size of a Nintendo switch. My brother asked why I got a toy when I have all the consoles and a gaming computer. I was honest and told him it was originally for his kid but since I'm not to be respected as an elder I have zero reason to waste money on him. My brother says I'm being an AH and tried to get my family involved. They all rejected him.

He tried to get my nephew to guilt me into it. I asked my nephew what his father got him as a gift. I said that since he wants to respect his father and not me he can get his gifts and such from his father.

The internet spilled their true feelings on the matter.

ChaoticNeutral23 wrote:

NTA - your brother sure seems to be one. But it seems to be a difficult situation for your nephew - while he could know better at his age, you could probably cut him some slack when it comes to situations with his mostly-absent father.

rebootsaresuchapain wrote:

NTA. He may only be saying these things because he desperately wants his dad to like and want him, but actions have consequences and he is mature enough to work out who will support him and who is a deadbeat dad.

TheVioletGrumble wrote:

ESH. I don’t care what your culture is, respect is earned, it’s not something you just hand out to everyone older than you. Also your reaction was that of a petty child.

SkylerRoseGrey wrote:

ESH - that poor kid. He is literally in a no-win situation. This would have been the time to see that he's trying so hard to get the approval of every adult around him when that is not his job. It is not his job to cater to his absent father's feelings or help you through your anger towards your brother.

rungenies wrote:

ESH. Your whole family sucks. Your brother might be a 40-year-old child but the way you’re acting as an adult towards your nephew who is a child is just as stupid, petty, and childish. Grow up.

Clearly, this is an ESH situation, with an emphasis on OP and his brother sucking.