Telling someone no when they expect your help or support can be supremely awkward, but sometimes it's necessary.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for telling his daughter "I told you so" after she messed up her bathroom. He wrote:
My son pointed me to this website. I have a 26-year-old daughter named Ava. We helped her put a down payment on a house and she is changing things in the home. I have told her so many times to hire a professional if it is not a DYI project. I have had to fix so many of her projects and I put my foot down telling her I will not help from now on.
Ava mentioned changing the tile in the bathroom and I told her she should hire someone for that if she isn’t using stick-on-tile. Well, she went and tried to do it on her own and she made a huge mess of the bathroom. She called me up and asked if I could fix this. I told her I told you so, we have done this dance way to many time and she needs to hire someone to fix it.
She told me it will cost her thousands to fix and I could do it. Told her no again and she called me a jerk. Now she has a messed up bathroom since she needs to save up for someone to fix it and she thinks I am a jerk.
LostDogBoulderUtah wrote:
NTA Tile isn't that complicated. If she can't pay someone to do it, she needs to watch a few YouTube videos on how to do it, put in the work, and quit trying to cut corners.
Ticker_Mirza wrote:
NTA. Also who calls someone a jerk when asking for their help?
gillebro wrote:
NTA. You told your daughter. She’s trying to take advantage of your past generosity. Stick to your guns, ok?
Summhunni wrote:
NTA I understand your frustration. I also feel like maybe you enabled this behavior in the past, which is why she is so hurt that you don't just come fix it. It will never change and she will never learn if you continue to enable her.
Flat_Contribution707 wrote:
NTA. You told her to hire professionals for projects that were beyond her skillset. I like painting but I would never attempt to paint a room by myself. You told her that you were no longer fixing issues she caused in HER house. Your daughter needs to put the breaks on home renovations. She needs to make a list of projects and divide them into two categories: essential to keep the house functional and cosmetic.
OP is NTA here, his daughter is simply facing the consequences of her own actions.