Man snaps at sister after she 'jokes' about dead baby, 'you'll never see our son.'
Dark humor only works if there's a punchline, and the person making the joke is intimately connected to the dark topic. Otherwise, what some people call "dark humor" can just be a veil for cruelty or insensitivity.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for snapping at his sister over a joke she made at a family gathering. He wrote:
"AITA for 'ruining the family gathering' over a 'joke' my sister made?"
For some context, I (28M) and my wife, Claire(25F) are expecting. Claire is currently 8 months pregnant, our son being expected to be born in November 2023. This isn't our first pregnancy though. Claire got pregnant two years ago, but the day our daughter was born, she passed away. This crushed us both mentally, especially for my wife.
Well, I have a sister, Hanna (19F), who for better words, lacks sympathy. Our parents always try to defend her, and try to say she 'has a dark sense of humor' but this time, she took it too far. We were at a family gathering yesterday and it all went well, until the topic of the pregnancy came up.
Everybody was asking how Claire was and some of the women (like my aunts, grandmother, and mom) were asking about the birthing plan when my sister says, while laughing "Let's hope this baby isn't like the last." Talking about mine and Claire's daughter.
I completely lost it I started screaming at Hanna, telling her that was completely rude of her, and that if she ever says stuff like that again she wouldn't be able to ever even see our son. Hanna started crying while Claire was already crying. My dad took me away from my sister and I got yelled at for making Hanna cry over a 'joke' and I ruined the gathering. AITA?
(I will admit I may have been harsh will threatening to not let Hanna see my son but this isn't the first time she made a joke like that).
The internet was fully invested in this sibling dynamic.
SigSauerPower320 wrote:
NTA. You didn't ruin s#$t. Your sister did. What she said was so far out of line I can't even put it into words. The fact that anyone in your family would even attempt to defend her is disgusting. And no...what you said wasn't even remotely harsh. What she said warrants never being able to set eyes on your child. That's not a joke...that's psychotic.
KaliTheBlaze wrote:
NTA. If you have a dark sense of humor, you absolutely must learn that there’s a time and a place for it. Dark humor very easily becomes cruel when deployed inappropriately, and this is a clear example of that. That was just a heartless thing to say to you and your wife.
Leafburn wrote:
NTA. People need to stop giving Hanna a cop-out every time she says something without thinking. FFS, that’s such a sh#$ty thing to say.
PsychologicalRoll705 wrote:
NTA. You did not ruin the gathering, your sister did and your family failed to stand up for you and your wife. Your sister crossed a line with a disgusting "joke", if consequences include no visits, that's her fault. She should apologize as should your dad.
Protect yourself and your wife, do not let your family bully you into accepting your sister's sick words as a joke and her BS manipulative tears. if they can't see that she crossed a line, they should be ashamed of themselves and low or no contact maybe needed.
Snoo39416 wrote:
NTA. As a woman who is currently pregnant. Infant loss and miscarriage jokes are sick. Especially when being told or said to someone who is expecting. Sister ought to have known better as she definitely was there while you and your wife mourned the loss of your first born.
OP is NTA here, his sister was beyond out of line, and the family needs to see that.