'AITA for asking my wife to apologize to my mom but not vice versa?'
"AITA for asking my wife to apologize to my mom but not vice versa?"
My mom and wife have a bad history, lots of issues, but I think it simply boils down to they do not like each other. If they were not family they would never speak, and neither of them cope well with it well. In the past I've stood up for my wife every time my mom was catty.
My wife is currently pregnant and my mom is planning a wedding, so great, more tension. Now I fully acknowledge I f**%$d up here, but my wife has been feeling pretty down lately and I felt she needed to get out.
I pressured my mom to take her wedding dress shopping because my wife loves fashion and I'm an idiot who thought maybe they could bond. Also my wife really really wanted to go. She loves clothes and wanted to go to the restaurant they were going to. My mom reluctantly agreed, and again I'm a huge idiot.
So they went and my mom came out in a dress and my wife just began sobbing. Being pregnant she cries very easily these days and she was mortified, but just couldn't control it.
My mom took it badly which i understand, but my mom began telling everyone there that see my wife just hates her, she is crying because she wants my mom to die alone, etc. Then my mom apparently giggled and a few other people laughed. My wife was humiliated and left in an Uber.
My wife explained to me that she was just jealous of the dress, the wedding, how thin my mom is–my wife feels like s@*t right now. She said she missed being a bride, as she loved it so much, and just seeing my mom made her feel worse.
I told her I totally get it and we all have irrational moments sometimes, but I can see why my mom took it the way she did and I think my wife should apologize and explain. She asked if I was going to make my mom apologize and I said no, as I can understand why she would think that, and I think the laughter was because she was uncomfortable.
My wife blew up and said I was being a mama's boy and trying to shame her for her feelings. She said my mom owes her an apology and until I 'get my head out of my a** and tell her that' she won't be apologizing. I feel horrible right now.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
YTA, and that's a HARD YTA. And it's completely laughable that you are claiming to be logical and put what was right over emotions.
If you are actually gullible enough to believe that your mother really thought that your wife was crying because she wanted her to stay single and alone, then you would be the perfect partner to help get a trunkbox of money out of Nigeria.
Your mother knew FULL WELL that your wife was not thinking that. She saw an opportunity when your wife was vulnerable, and she took it.
This! Your mother is organising a wedding and a divorce, but you are just too much into her pants to see it. YTA and a mama’s boy. I pity your wife
AMadManWithAPlan says:
YTA. The f**# is she gonna apologize for? Crying while pregnant? Seriously? More importantly - choosing your mom over your pregnant wife, when your wife didn't even DO anything? When YOU pushed them both into hanging out when they didn't want to?
Your wife owes your mother nothing. You owe your wife a HUGE apology, along with some flowers and candy, and you do need to deal with your mom.
Fastr77 says:
Wait excuse me, you want your pregnant wife to apologize for.. crying? For being emotional while pregnant.. you are actually asking her to apologize for that? Meanwhile your total AH mom made those comments? You are entirely a** backwards and YTA. So is your mom.