Man blocks door to prevent his wife from babysitting her nieces and nephews. 'AITA?'

Childcare is expensive. And many parents may ask their family members to help out when necessary. But at what point does needing a favor become exploitation? One husband felt his wife's family was crossing the line by expecting her to constantly babysit their kids. So he intervened. It did not go well.

So he asked the internet to weigh in:

AITA for not letting my wife babysit her nieces and nephews even though she wants to?

My wife has two younger sisters that she doesn’t get along with at all. To the point they weren’t invited to our wedding because she just knew they would ruin it. During family gatherings at my wifes parents house her sisters always take the chance to disrespect my wife. She ignores them for the most part and doesn’t have much contact with them.

Other than events she contacts them to babysit her nieces and nephews. I don’t mind them, they’re good kids. However its clear her sisters just see her as free childcare. Recently they’ve been dumping their kids on us more often.

If its not at home, then its at her workplace. My wife works at a salon, and the kids just sit until SILs come to pick them up. Its to the point I don’t even consider babysitting anymore, more like they want my wife to take all the parts of being a mom they don’t want.

My wife is currently staying home because of health issues, yet she still accepted to babysit SILs kids.

I turned SILs away at the door, and blocked it so my wife wouldn’t open it. This was 2 days in a row. My wife is currently mad at me, so i’m wondering if i’m the AITA

Commenters are divided. Here's what some had to say:

From apothekryptic:

You may be right, but heres where you went wrong: "I turned SILs away at the door, and blocked it so my wife wouldn’t open it. This was 2 days in a row."

You need to respect your wife's judgment. If you disagree, you need to sit down and have a discussion about it and come to a decision together. Reactively taking control of a situation is simply controlling behavior and is not a good solution to this problem. In fact, you are now a part of the problem.

YTA

From fileknotfound:

In addition to this, maybe OP’s wife keeps taking the kids because she loves them and values having a relationship with her nieces and nephews, despite what her relationship with her sisters is like. OP has no right to tell her she can’t do that.

From curious_jess:

YTA You concern is understandable, but the way to handled it is pretty controlling and out of line. If you're concerned this is contributing to her ill health, you need to sit down and have a discussion about it so that you can come to an agreement about what is best for your family.

Ultimately, if it's not affecting you or your family, the relationship is hers to manage and it should be her decision about how much she wants to give and how she wants to spend her time. You can teach her to stand up for herself by supporting her decisions instead of undermining them.

From spoiledrichwhitegirl:

YTA.

This is your wife’s decision, not yours. Blocking the door & refusing entry against her wishes for 2 days in a row sounds extremely controlling. If you have a problem with what’s happening, talk to her, but your actions are not appropriate nor are they a solution.

From LatinMom1971:

NTA< your wife is wanting to watch the kids and that is fine but you are also helping in watching those kids and you were not asked.

I get that the kids don't need to suffer what the mom does but that behavior is extreme.

You need to sit your wife down and let her know that if she wants to continue to watch the kids you will not stop her but it will not be in your home because unless you both decide it is okay, then she needs to go to their house and she can watch them all she wants.

I assume that you help her and that is why she doesn't mind but if you remove the extra help then maybe she can see that her health is more important than what her sister is doing to her regarding using those kids to get what she wants.

From Ousmousse:

NTA

Your wife is a people-pleaser and her sisters are taking advantage of her. They bring their kids to her work seriously ? Who does that ? She has to take care of the kids while she's sick?

Your gesture of blocking the door is extreme. But I'm not going to blame you, you were protecting your wife. Try to have a calm discussion with her to explain that her health comes before babysitting.

Chances are she won't listen, in which case let her make her own decisions. She's a grown-up, and you can't infintilize her, even if she makes the wrong choices. Suggest her therapy.

From Reasonable-Ad-3605:

ESH. Babysitting the kids impacts your life. She shouldn't be doing it without talking to you.

That being said you shouldn't have just turned them away. You both need to have an actual adult conversation.

What do you think? Who's in the wrong here?