Man's brother steals his GF; mom says he should be best man at their wedding. Updated!

AITA for not backing my family after my wife giggled at their news? Updated 3x.

I 27m have a beautiful wife Amara 26f. Anyway onto the situation that happened a week ago...

When i was 17 I had a girlfriend who cheated on me for my brother, we were together since kindergarten, even though our relationship was fake in elementary school and middle school we decided to make it official in high school, but after a year of making it official my brother tells me that she and him we’re seeing each other behind my back

I was extremely hurt especially since my parents knew but they thought the relationship was still a playful one even though I told them the news first

After that I decided to just focus on school and move out of my parents house, especially since they didn’t have the decency to at least be romantically involved in private. She still tried to apologize and ask if we could be friends but I just ignored her.

After I graduated I moved to Texas at age 19 and only contacted my family on holidays. After two years of being there I met Amara at a bakery her mother owned and we became friends first due to us both having trust issues, but we made it official a year after meeting.

The relationship was great. I loved her family and they loved me. The wedding was absolutely wonderful even though my parents and brother didn’t come. I sent them an invitation and called them the day before.

Now a week ago my mother called me to ask if we could talk, she was on speaker since Amara and I were cooking, she knows about what my family has done and how they backed up my brother so I didn’t mind putting the phone on speaker since the only conversations I have with my family is about my brother.

Well my mom goes on to tell me how my brother and ex are getting married and he wants me to be his best man. I was silent for a bit and Amara burst out with giggles and I joined in after her.

My mom hung up and I didn’t bother calling her back and enjoyed my night with my wife. The next morning I was bombarded with angry text from my brother and dad on how I hurt my mothers feeling and made her cry by not telling my wife to not laugh.

I don’t think I did anything wrong I technically didn’t do anything but I can somewhat say that it was childish but it was a spur of the moment. So AITA for not backing up my mom?

Here's what people had to say:

imothro writes:

Wait, why is your mom asking you to be your brother's best man? That's super weird. Why isn't that coming from him? Very clearly NTA. Laughing is about the nicest thing you can do in a situation like this.

Although, there was a great post a while back about somebody who accepted being best man and then gave a speech recounting all of the details of the cheating, dropped the mic and left. So that's always an option for you.

Newdadalert_ OP:

She was the messenger, he asked her to ask me. She only said “your brother feels bad but he thinks this is a way to reconcile so would you like to be the best man” that’s what caused my wife to laugh.

Fearless-Eye5226 writes:

Please announce the pregnancy at the wedding. During the best man speech. Then give the mic drop speech of them cheating on you. Please.

DeusXMathematica writes:

'I'm honored to stand before you in the union of my cheating ex, and my brother who gleefully stabbed me in the back. Why they decided such an honor should fall to me is absurd, as though this is the only time would could possibly reconcile and not the dozens of times I tried before this. Perhaps he has realized how friendless he is since no one else would stand with him.'

'Maybe he thinks this is him forgiving me for not liking being a cuckold. Don't know, don't care. May you have a couple happy years of marriage and then a bitter drawn our divorce when one of you inevitably cheats on the other.'

ICWhatsNUrPw rites:

So he cheats with your GF at the time and skips on your wedding entirely, then wants you to be his best man? Laughter is the kindest response he was gonna get for that. NTA. Besides, reconciling starts with an apology, and he isn't sorry.

Borgteddy writes:

NTA. It is kind of funny how they didn't show up for your wedding, but want you to he there for your brothers? Did they give you an explanation on why they were a no show?

If I'd to guess why they want you there is because people are bound to ask why you aren't at your brother's wedding and they want to save face.

Newdadalert_ OP:

They said my brother felt sick and he didn’t want to go so they just decided to stay with him.

Update 1 week later:

After the week of the incident and many, many rude texts from my brother and father I decided to contact my brother and tell him how it was unfair to not come to my wedding but then ask me to come to his.

Well some of you were spot on, my brother didn’t want to come to my wedding so my mother made up a lie instead of telling the truth. And he never asked for me to be his best man nor was I even invited. I called my mother and asked her what the hell was going on and she told me that she just wanted her sons to get along again.

Even if I were to accept the now fake offer the situation would have gone way worse since I wasn’t invited. I’ve decided for the sake of my wife and I’s future I will be limiting contact with my side of the family. I’ve also mentioned in the comments that my wife is pregnant so I have that to look forward to instead of a shit show.

Amara and I also appreciate the kind words from some of you

Update 1 day later:

The situation has now spread from just my wife and I to my wife’s side of the family. A friend of my ex found the post and I guess the news spread like wildfire and i was now getting texts from my immediate family and my ex and brothers friends

I’ve ignored it at first until some really hurtful things was said about my wife regarding her family and pregnancy which caused my wife to have a panic attack since she couldn’t calm down. I don’t know if I could say what they said since it was very harsh and racist, I’ve now gone from limited texts to ignoring my whole family

I’ve decided to turn my phone off all together, but I do appreciate everyone of you but I’m going to take this time to spend it with my wife and her family, we are now focusing on the pregnancy and getting things ready for 9 months of fun and weird cravings

Update 21 days later:

1. My family is no longer in my life

2. My wife read the post and comments and she loves all of you but was upset that I said she giggled, she wanted me to clear it up and let you all know it was a full cackle

3. Our little baby is growing and healthy (hoping for a girl)

But that’s all once again THANK YOU ALL! WE LOVE YOU!

Comments from after the update:

Lost10-10 writes:

NTA at all. The beginning hurt to read but so happy for the wife and OP 🥹

Mammoth_Engineer_477 writes:

Good luck to you...your wife...and future baby! And your in-laws who sound like they treated you better than those other folks that you're better off without.

m-qy writes:

Talk about an awful family glad you have met your wife and things are looking out for you and I hope your child grows healthy and you live a good life

Accomplished-Hat8317 writes:

Love the happy ending 🥰