'AITA for canceling vacation less than 24 hours in due to my kids' behavior?'
"AITA for canceling vacation less than 24 hours in due to my kids' behavior?"
My husband and I have 3 kids, 9M, 8M, and 3F. The boys have been driving us crazy. They fight like cats and dogs. We’ve had countless talks with them about respecting each other, to no avail. I understand sibling rivalry but it’s gotten to the point it’s disruptive to us all, every day.
I already told my husband last week I wasn’t sure if the vacation was a good idea. My husband shut me down pretty much immediately and things went ahead as planned.
First of all, the 3.5 hour car ride was (predictably) hell. Boys fighting and riling each other up the whole time. Husband and I kept trying to reassure each other that things would be better once we got there and they would be too excited to cause trouble.
We were wrong. They had so many reminders of what not to do once we got to the rental house…so they do everything wrong from the get go.
Shoes on the white furniture? Check. Running in the house? Check. I turned my back for 2 seconds and the 8 y/o threw a box of chalk in the pool to keep his brother from getting it. We went out to lunch and they were out of control in the restaurant. 9M ran away from us in a strange place because he didn’t get his way.
We finally go to the beach and they are frankly being brats. Refusing sunscreen. Fighting over toys. Pushing their luck repeatedly going farther and farther out in the water than we told them to. Cursing.
By the time we got back to the house, it was around dinner time and I was fed up. They were totally ruining it for everybody. Nothing had worked and I told my husband we needed to go home, for the reasons mentioned above, mainly that they needed to see a REAL consequence.
My husband still insisted it would get better. I put my foot down and told him that I didn’t even want to be there at that point so either I was leaving, or we all were. He got super pissed and told me it was ridiculous and unfair to our daughter.
I actually agree with him but saw no other choice at this point. Of course when I tell the kids they immediately burst into tears and are begging to stay, promising they will behave.
My mother, who came with us, was also near tears. She thinks her precious grandbabies do no wrong. She argued with me too, begging me to “just let it go” but I refused to budge. So, we left, less than 24 hours into a 4 day vacation.
Half the ride home was spent with them sobbing and my husband pretty much gave me the silent treatment the whole way.
My mother decided to stay behind a little longer but then started randomly texting me about 30 minutes in, asking if I was serious (she knew I was) and told me the whole reason she came was to spend time with the kids, so I had now “ruined it for everybody” and “they’re only little once”.
Here we are the following evening and pretty much no one likes me right now except my 3-year-old. Are they right? AITA?
Here's how the discussion section went.
NTA. Actions have consequences. Your sons are learning a needed lesson.
NTA. The AH is your husband, who is questioning your authority in front of the kids. The other AH is your mother, who wants you to raise future serial killers, apparently. No, you are enforcing discipline, as any good parent should.
op=nta for ending vacation. but these behavioral problems are NOT just during vacation--CLEARLY. You need to get this under control, your kids don't seem to understand consequence and are making themselves vulnerable to harm. <
NTA. Kids need consequences, and it sounds as though your husband and mother have been too inclined to give them ‘one more chance.’ If you ever need to say to them again ‘Stop that, or we’re going home,’ they’ll know you mean it.
Info: is this the first time you’ve given these kids consequences? Cause imma bet they’ve gotten away with this behavior before with out them
YTA. Your kids are assholes, because they were raised by bad parents (assholes). They are under 10, I completely blame the parents. You need to figure your shit out. Both you and your husband need to get on the same page with respect, responsibilities, and discipline.
Am I correct in assuming that your husband doesn’t do the majority of parenting but steps all over your toes when it comes to discipline? I’d say NTA. Anyone who’s upset needs to be upset at the boys.
NTA. Maybe let dear grandmother take the boys over a weekend (at her house) and the rest of you go on a mini break. And tell the boys: If you can't behave, you don't go. (Lectures on respecting each other are getting you nowhere. They need to make a connection between action and consequences.)